By the time I realised I was dead, I
was already in line.
The queue stretched a long way, a slow-moving procession of
the newly departed. There was no pain, no fear—just a strange sense of
acceptance, like I was waiting for a coffee I hadn’t ordered but was happy to
drink anyway.
Ahead, a glowing kiosk hummed gently, with a ring light
flickering above it. A digital voice chimed:
“Thank you for living! Please rate your experience.”
The person in front of me, a hunched old man in a tweed
jacket, tapped the screen hesitantly. His expression shifted from curiosity to
horror. He muttered something under his breath, then shuffled off into the
mist.
The screen blinked invitingly. It was my turn.
Welcome to the Afterlife Feedback Portal!
Life of: Daniel Everett
Status: Concluded
Time Spent Alive: 38 years, 4 months, 12 days
Total Rating: 2.9 / 5 stars
Two point nine? That was dangerously close to “would not
recommend.”
A glowing progress bar appeared. Review Breakdown
Loading…
Relationships – 2.5 stars
• “Started strong but lost momentum. Needed better
communication skills.” ★★☆☆☆
• “Girlfriend of three years? More like unpaid therapist of
three years.” ★★★☆☆
I winced. That was… uncomfortably fair.
Career – 3.0 stars
• “Showed up to work on time. Mostly.” ★★★☆☆
• “Colleagues liked him. Boss tolerated him. Printer hated
him.” ★★★☆☆
That last one stung more than I expected.
Personal Growth – 1.8 stars
• “Kept saying he’d learn a language. Never did.” ★☆☆☆☆
• “Joined a gym. Went twice.” ★☆☆☆☆
• “Had an epiphany about life’s meaning once. Forgot it
immediately.” ★★☆☆☆
The screen flickered. A new section appeared.
Regrets – Most Common Mentions:
• “Too scared to take risks.”
• “Spent more time looking at screens than faces.”
“Would you like to leave a response?” the kiosk asked.
I hesitated, my fingers hovering over the screen. What was
there to say? That I tried? That I thought I had more time? That I wish I’d
paid more attention, held on to people tighter, been braver, been better?
The screen pulsed.
“All feedback is final. Thank you for existing.”
A door opened, and I stepped through.
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