Gary Watkins, 52, has been reassured
by his parents that his well-paid, stable career in finance is merely a
temporary diversion from his true path in life—writing a novel about a sad man
in a café.
Despite working as a senior investment strategist for 27
years, earning six figures, and owning a four-bedroom house, Gary’s mother,
Janet, 76, remains confident that he will eventually “grow out of this
financial services nonsense” and return to his real calling as a writer, a
passion he last pursued in 1994 after reading Catcher in the Rye.
“We all go through these little detours,” said Janet,
rifling through his childhood sketches for evidence that he once wanted to be
an artist. “One minute you’re selling your soul to corporate greed, the next
you’re scribbling away in a Parisian attic, truly feeling things.”
Gary, who currently has a wife, two children, and a
mortgage, confirmed that his parents regularly remind him that he “used to have
such an imagination” before “falling in with the wrong crowd” at HSBC.
“I keep telling him, all it takes is one spontaneous road
trip to Tuscany,” said his father, Brian, 78, who once watched Eat, Pray,
Love and now believes all life’s problems can be solved by dropping
everything and moving abroad. “Gary could be writing brooding poetry about
autumn leaves while sipping espresso by now if he hadn’t got so caught up in
this whole ‘having financial stability’ charade.”
When asked for comment, Gary sighed deeply and revealed that
he has, in fact, been secretly working on his novel for the past 15 years. “It’s
about a disillusioned banker who quits his job to find meaning in the world,”
he admitted. “So far, the protagonist has spent 200 pages sitting in a café
thinking about quitting his job.”
Gary’s parents remain hopeful that, any day now, he’ll “come
to his senses” and abandon his financial security for a life of artistic
struggle. “It’s just a phase,” Janet insisted. “He’ll grow out of it.”
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