INT. TV STUDIO – DAY
A TV studio has debris lying around a grimy weather map.
The graphics on the map show exaggerated apocalyptic symbols: fire, tornadoes,
raining frogs, and a massive snowflake. CHAD is presenting in dirty, torn
clothes.
CHAD: Good morning, Afterworld! It’s another beautiful day
in our post-apocalyptic paradise! Let’s dive right into today’s weather
forecast.
Points to an image of a fire tornado.
CHAD: Starting off in the west, we’ve got a lovely fire
tornado making its way downtown. Great news for those with no firewood...
Points to a graphic of raining frogs.
CHAD: Over in the east, it’s raining... mutant frogs? Yep!
Those cute little amphibians are dropping from the sky. On the plus side, it’s
a free pet day! But do carry an umbrella; they have quite the leap.
Points to a massive snowflake graphic.
CHAD: Now, up north, expect a light snowstorm. And by “light”,
I mean each snowflake is about the size of a dinner plate. Snowball fights are
discouraged, unless fighting the snow zombies, then they might be quite useful.
Points to a happy sun graphic that is wearing sunglasses.
CHAD: Down south, the sun’s really outdoing itself. It’s
decided to take a closer look at Earth, and it’s brought its shades! Remember
to put on sun factor 5000 or, you know, just try to avoid spontaneous
combustion.
JENNY rushes in, handing Chad a paper.
JENNY: Chad, urgent update!
CHAD: (reading the paper) Ah, thanks, Jenny. Folks, just in!
It seems the four horsemen will be doing a flyover in the central region this
afternoon. So, if you’re planning a picnic, maybe reschedule. Or at least bring
extra food tins. I hear they’re quite famished.
JENNY: And don’t forget tonight’s meteor shower!
CHAD: Heads up, literally. If you’ve ever wished upon a
star, now might be the time to be more specific with your wishes. Like, “Please
don’t land on me.”
The screen fizzles and goes blank.
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