Sunday, 18 October 2020

Dubbing for home languages is really not a good idea. The vocal is half of the performance - take that away and splice in another person’s voice literally mutes and disconnects the actor.

Saturday, 10 October 2020

A question seems obvious when you have seen the answer.

A skill seems easy when you have practiced its mastery.

Only the time has changed.

Sunday, 4 October 2020

Recorded Sonnet 129 in one take. I didn’t plan how to do it, I just absorbed the words and wanted to see what happened.

The result is interesting, like nothing I have heard before.

The character speaking is not one you should let seduce you.

Saturday, 3 October 2020

If I had the choice now to pick how many years to live I think I would choose 10,000 years, although maybe when getting to the limit I might want another quota. I wouldn’t tick the box for a human eternity, as transience feels fundamental to the nature of life.

Sunday, 27 September 2020

My IOS Apple health app is showing it has stored 238.66 terabytes of my data! Wow, didn’t know I did that many steps.

Friday, 18 September 2020

Watching performers, I appreciate quality but I don’t get particularly excited by even exquisite technical excellence. Looks attract, certainly, but interest is quickly lost if there is nothing real going on beyond the performance. I detach emotionally when there is anything conceited or contrived. What holds me is real lived human experience, with all its perfect imperfections; something genuine that has emerged in the moment and surprised even the performer.

Thursday, 10 September 2020

I really don’t like listening to or watching any recent performance of mine, even if I am generally pleased with how it turned out. This is weird because I don’t mind after a while, when there is some distance and I have forgotten about the process involved. I suppose the time delay helps me listen/watch as an audience member rather than identifying so firmly as the performer.

Wednesday, 2 September 2020

A key for translating Shakespeare’s sonnets into a standard song format:


Line 1

Line 3

Line 2

Line 4


Line 13

Line 14



Line 5

Line 7

Line 6

Line 8



Line 13

Line 14



Line 9

Line 11

Line 10

Line 12



Line 13

Line 14

Line 13

Line 14

Tuesday, 1 September 2020

Listened on YouTube to various attempts at turning Shakespeare’s sonnets into songs. I don’t think these straight translations work very well. However Shakespeare is so clever that if you read the lines of his sonnets out of sequence as rhyming couplets (e.g. line 1 then 3 then 2 then 4 etc.) the sonnet usually still works well without losing the meaning. So I picked up a guitar, strummed some rhythms and improvised some vocal melodies to the rejigged lines and it all works great!

Monday, 31 August 2020

A lot of what I know is the product of age and curiosity, and although broad is often just familiarity with the basics. But I do also feel something expanding within me lately and I’m not sure of the cause, like energy from a switch that has been flicked on.

Saturday, 29 August 2020

It is so important with the poetic flow of Shakespeare that every word means something real to the actor, otherwise the viewer will get lost in the density of content coming at them. Watching performances of Shakespeare, it is so obvious when an actor is merely ploughing through the rhythms in a conventional Shakespearean style, rather than really living the powerful words given to them. Thankfully there are lots of good actors and performances out there – this one I just watched of Sonnet 129 is a good example:

Monday, 24 August 2020

Humans came along for the ride at the halfway point between life beginning on earth about 4 billion years ago and life ending in another 4 billion years, with the melting of the planet’s surface under an intensifying sun. Science fiction and other human projections are typically set in the myopic near future of at most a few thousand years; well how about an amount that is actually noticeable in the life of earth, say in one billion years?

Given what is currently known about humanity and the universe, what are some possible outcomes from the current trajectory?

“In One Billion Years”
Book in progress... (evolving very gradually)

Friday, 21 August 2020

The dictionary definition of “atheist” as a non-believer in God or Gods isn’t accurate because anecdotally there seems to be many people who think the doctrinal teachings from religious institutions are cultural based anachronisms - and so would be labelled “atheist” for not adhering to definitive religious beliefs about deities - yet believe in some higher power they cannot define. This type of thought would be different from believing the universe’s purpose and function is completely explicable in terms contained within itself by matter and its interactions.

There are a lot of belief jumps in this sentence: the universe is a purposeless collection of matter that mindlessly configured itself by chance out of nothing, existing in time with causes and effects and had no beginning. A reasonable-minded adherent might be aware of the glaring uncertainties in this position but state it is more parsimonious to adopt a materialistic concept of reality than implant a God belief system as an additional layer in the theory. Yet the certainty with which many proponents preach this position as absolute truth, suggests a type of commitment witnessed in religious belief.

An agnostic would state that the ultimate “why” questions are unanswerable, so from a practical perspective we should just be concerned with the “how” questions. The materialist’s objections to agnosticism based on the burden of proof for God being on the proponent, misses the point to an agnostic who has already ruled-out religious explanations of God but not higher meaning and purpose to reality. A particularly zealous materialist might overplay the remit of verifiable facts by stating opinions about ultimate meaning are irrelevant if they are not scientifically falsifiable - ignoring the fact that their own conceptual model for reality contains unfalsifiable conjecture.

My own instinctive opinion is that I believe religions share the same spiritual root, although the core message was often corrupted by the doctrines and institutions that arose. This is my personal version of “spiritual but not particularly religious”. As I am most familiar with Christianity I can be labelled Christian, however I do adopt a filter and select only what resonates with me, mindful that the scriptures were written and edited by early practitioners of the religion and that the Biblical canon was decided upon by the politics of powerful men in ecumenical councils, rather than being the unadulterated teachings of Christ. Looking back in history, the cruelties that have been perpetrated by professed followers of the religion represent the antithesis of the message of Christ; for real spirituality - the root of Christianity - is always inspired by love, joy, harmony, peace and reconciliation.

Saturday, 15 August 2020

Random thought, slipping into British mode...

Despite its reputation, England can be a nice place for the weather. We have about six months when it can be very pleasant to be here, say from about mid-April to mid-October. The dark, cold and damp months of December to February take some extra effort to appreciate.

I prefer long sunny days in the low 20Cs (70Fs).


Friday, 14 August 2020

Paradox of the day:

It’s in my best interests not to be so self-interested.

Wednesday, 12 August 2020

I appreciate the story-telling of real human experience, truthfully expressing core feelings that are shared by people across cultures and time. Very generally, I tend to turn to Shakespeare for plays and poetry; and Dostoevsky for deep psychological novels. Some other great writers I like to read are Aldous Huxley, George Orwell, Thomas Hardy, Anton Chekhov, Leo Tolstoy and Victor Hugo.

Tuesday, 11 August 2020

Reading Hamlet.

It’s been done millions of times, but my instinctive interpretation of Hamlet’s “To Be or Not To Be” soliloquy is a bit different from the many performances I have seen. In fact it may be unhelpful seeing other people’s performances because the blueprints distract from my own relationship with the words.

Every single person has both uniqueness and a shared oneness with everybody else. What is interesting is finding the individuality and playing with it, rather than blandly mimicking other people or current socialised expectations.

Sunday, 9 August 2020

Given how technology is moving, all the functions of your phone will be migrated directly into your brain. The “screen” will be projected into your vision and options chosen by thoughts.

All vision, sound, thoughts and feelings could be recorded. You could download and replay any recording from yourself or anybody else. Communication by mindscapes could replace the spoken and written word.


Your mind could operate any physical body.


Your perception of reality could be changed. Undesired emotions or detrimental thought patterns could be switched-off.


You could instantly download data and skills and have greatly augmented cognitive processing speeds.


Your thoughts could interact with artificial intelligence that could calculate the most efficient algorithm for any process you wish to undertake.


This isn’t fanciful thinking, it’s the implied intention for the not too distant future. The unasked question is to what extent this is really desirable.


Of course any totalitarian regime could easily control their population by these means. An empowered sadist could run amok in all the enslaved minds.


Philosophically it makes me wonder, what is it to be a human being? Practically it makes me certain, humans have to become worthy of the knowledge we are gaining.

Hateful behaviour provides lessons in how not to be.

Thursday, 6 August 2020

I think I will set-up my own green screen film studio and have some fun making videos. I want to shoot dramatic monologues and music performances — and also maybe some presentations if I’m feeling boring.

Friday, 31 July 2020

Iago is such a terrifying character because he revels in what he is doing. The motivating reasons can be analysed: broken pride; a sense of betrayal; jealousy; ambition; desire for power over others; or even unrequited love turned sour, if you want to read it that way. It’s true that villains often fool themselves into believing their actions are justified or the fault of fate or caused by others; but the main factor with Iago is the huge elephant in the room. Iago knows he is the villain and sadistically enjoys the suffering he causes. His motivation is the full embracing of enmity.

Thursday, 30 July 2020

Wasn’t Shakespeare amazing. It would be so interesting to find out how his genius developed, what he saw and experienced in his life that helped him write such beauty and comprehend so deeply the human material condition in all its different aspects. I can think of other notable geniuses in history — Mozart in music, Newton in science etc. — but Shakespeare is a sort of mythical other, shrouded in mystery, whose breadth of insight has the greatest impact on me.

Sunday, 19 July 2020

I think I’ve found a new thing. Really enjoying putting a podcast together on drama - and am working out how best to film some of the recordings. It will include some of my music as well.

Sunday, 12 July 2020

I’m interested in performing great monologues from literature. Seems easy to upload audio as a podcast and filmed versions for a YouTube channel.

Looking for a podcast where I can listen to dramatic performances of literature, but finding mostly dry monotone readings of poetry. Monologues on YouTube seem to be mostly non-realistic anger and angst.

Tuesday, 7 July 2020

I uploaded Alive today. The song took a while to finish, I needed to be in the mood.

Lots of other unfinished songs to pick up and play with, but they aren’t calling me at the moment. For another time...

Monday, 6 July 2020

An obvious point is that there is greater chance of releasing the magic if not consumed by self-aggrandizement or conforming to other people’s expectations, especially if the current norms are harmful and wrong. Success in transcendent goals is not the same as success in negotiating positions of status in the current society, which of course will change with the relentless passage of time. It just so happens, however, that those people who were motivated by intrinsic value rather than their own psychological desires produced the best long-lasting examples of beauty and creative human potential.

Sunday, 5 July 2020

Reading about Dostoevsky. There is certainly a trend in history that the most interesting thinkers and artists tended to be outsiders for defining periods; and sometimes the untamed spark that made them great was dampened when invited in from the wilderness. Dostoevsky’s spark seemed to ignite after the more eventful stages of his life; in particular after his death sentence for sedition was commuted at the last minute to hard labour in a Siberian gulag, writing four classic novels after this period.

Saturday, 4 July 2020

The Internet and Smartphones have been transformative for me.

I have instant access to knowledge in my pocket. At any time I can find brilliance and beauty at my fingertips. I can learn from top minds and see the most incredible examples of what humans can do.

If I am unfamiliar with a word, I look up its definition; if I don’t understand a reference, I read about it from credible sources. When I want to learn anything, all the instructions and guidance are there. 

When I need to be inspired, I can find it there.

Friday, 3 July 2020

In computer programming effort goes into creating reusable building blocks of code that can be implemented in multiple transferable processes. Much like the exponential growth of knowledge, the components can be included as foundations in larger and larger frameworks.

Thursday, 2 July 2020

The Romans viewed the Colosseum as the zenith of civilisation, representing the natural order playing out in glory of the Gods. In the arena was unadulterated murder and torture for the entertainment of the baying crowds.

People 2,000 years ago are us, just brought up differently with different beliefs and living under different conditions.

Humanity has mostly now progressed enough to recognise the depraved evils that were socially accepted in previous times; yet a person of the time would have gone along with the accepted norm, assuming it was right because everyone else said it was right. They were wrong.

Unless you think we are currently at the zenith of civilisation, what are the great injustices of our time that are socially conditioned and accepted? These wrongs will have been justified and reasoned away to become the mainstream behaviour.

If humans are around for billions of years, then we are currently the early originals.

Maybe we are at the stage where we are just starting to recognize some shapes.

Wednesday, 1 July 2020

200,000 years ago, anatomically modern humans in the world. 
5,500 years ago, the written word begins. 
475 years ago, the Scientific Revolution. 
250 years ago, the Industrial Revolution. 
150 years ago, the Technological Revolution. 
70 years ago, digital electronic computers. 
29 years ago, the Internet. 
13 years ago, Smartphones & Social Media. 

Another big changer due (or has already happened). 

What will be the timeline in 1 billion years time? The future could be completely incomprehensible from where we are now.
Couldn’t do as many lifting reps with less food.

There may be a psychological factor involved, as that was what I expected: strength athletes tend to eat at regular short intervals, and deliberately overeat over the course of a day to make sure they have the optimum amount of calories and nutrients to build muscle – they later undertake a cutting phase to lose the fat.

Runners need to be sparrow-like, as light as possible to optimise the power-to-weight ratio. Carrying excess muscle around is not optimal.

I want to be both agile and strong, rather than ideally adapted for one function.

Tuesday, 30 June 2020


Opportunity: Compounded improvements in the quality of life.

Threat: A downward spiral into oblivion.

Practical solution: Adopting a framework of good habits.

Goal: Aliveness.

Monday, 29 June 2020

I am now fasting for 18 hours a day, eating a balanced meal at each end of a six hour window - called "intermittent fasting".

Looking at Twitter, inevitably leading to having to look at US politics. A couple of thoughts from a perspective across the pond:

It may be acausal or a contributing factor but it seems that US Presidential elections have always been won by the more entertaining of the two party nominees. I can’t think of an exception.

In a national Presidential election the candidate with the most votes should win. Electoral colleges are relevant to parliamentary systems of government, where the head of government must have the support of the elected legislature. An unbiased opinion on this should not be influenced by who might or might not have won previous elections under the different election rules.

Sunday, 28 June 2020

The phone wants attention, all the time: “Look at me, I can show you anything, just look at me.”

Summon with caution.

It’s a mischievous little genie that wants feeding by your stare.

It can give wonders or destroy the world, it doesn’t care.

Thursday, 25 June 2020

Having a proper look around Twitter.

It’s a good way to get updates and information on interesting topics.

The massive downside is the angry political gunge seeping through it. I generally move on when people start writing in terms like “them and us” or left and right, this tribe or that tribe. Twitter seems to inflame that partisan ugly polarisation.

The gaming aspects of Twitter, such as gaining likes and follows, encourages people (irrespective of political compass) to clamour for attention, often leading to the normalisation of all sorts of distorting and destructive behaviour.

To be honest, it is morbidly fascinating to look at all the crazy. It’s like picking a scab though, no good for me at all.

Tuesday, 23 June 2020

5 creative outlets for me:

1. Playing music - vocals, instrumentals, producing
2. Performing - singing, acting, public speaking
3. Writing - music, lyrics, poetry, drama, prose
4. Visual art and design
5. Computer programming

Not interested in comparing levels of ability to others, that’s not the point.

The more these areas cross-over the better.

The more I enjoy doing them, the better.

Sunday, 21 June 2020

My mystical inclination believes something along the lines that: form ends on death, but time is just a perspective from one vantage point because the past, present and future are really one; all things are really a part of each other, connected and strands in the great tapestry of life; and maybe we have one foot in this life and one in deeper dimensions of reality. Maybe there are incalculable vantage points.

Even my purely rational inclination finds a materialist concept of reality difficult to accept, given the absurdity of a microorganism thinking it has the reasoning to understand how and why it exists in its petri dish.

I believe excelling at being a good human being is the purpose - and in doing so is helping the macrocosm of the universe to unfold as it should.

Nobody must believe any of this, it just feels right to me.

Saturday, 20 June 2020

Any person has a wide range of emotions and impulses running through them, to lesser and greater degrees. Sometimes, given the right circumstances, grace can be found in the most surprising places; and sometimes ugliness is expressed where beauty usually resides.

Mindfulness is an awareness that enables greater choice over the energy that moves you.

Friday, 19 June 2020

Acting is an exercise in empathy: the actor tries to understand the thought processes and encompass the emotional life of the character.

I first look into the world from the point of view of a human being, then try on some different clothes.

Wednesday, 17 June 2020

In good stories the brave hero courageously saves the lives of others; well these days it can just take a tap on a screen to save someone’s life.

Anyone can be the hero.

Tuesday, 16 June 2020

A pollyanna vision of the arc of technology might be that if robots can do all the work at higher levels of productivity than people, then in theory everybody could be wealthy, enjoying the fruits of automated labour. People are then liberated from economic and social necessity to fully explore life; to hopefully find true beauty, love and self-actualization - instead of struggling, worrying and fighting over limited resources to survive.

Looking through the attic I came across something I wrote a while back, that was a bit less pollyanna:

“School is typically a training in becoming a drone, with extra badges and gold stars for conformity to the set standards of assimilation into the machinery. The next life stage is to be oiled up with the particular drugs of choice to desensitize and negotiate the drone bot through the system, for the waiting skip at the end (unless not already fallen off into insanity).”

Made me laugh. Maybe I had watched too much Star Trek.
One of the effects of the worldwide shut-down has been to hasten the widespread transition from offline real life to an online virtual life, as people’s habits have needed to change for quarantine. As with most things, it’s maintaining a balance that matters for well-being.

The analogue world often has more reverence albeit less sheer efficiency than the online version; for instance finding a seminal work in the labyrinth of a dusty old library feels like discovering a bit of history, rather than scrolling past disposable data on a screen.

Saturday, 13 June 2020

What would have happened if the US was not the first country to develop the nuclear bomb? What would have happened if the Nazis, Stalin, Mao or the Imperial Japanese Empire had the bomb first? No doubt after numerous live demonstrations on target cities, the world would have been subjugated to the particular brand of sadistic totalitarian control.

As technology progresses, additional existential threats to humanity will happen more regularly; the most frequently noted being in biological engineering, artificial intelligence and nanotechnology. Technology is also making it ever easier to centrally track and control people’s behaviour, enabling the ideal conditions for any strain of despotic regime to thrive.

Given the stakes and the alternatives, we have to get better.

Monday, 1 June 2020

I sometimes experience Hypnagogia, having vivid hallucinations in my mind’s eye in the period between wakefulness to sleep, particularly when I am very tired. I have no conscious influence over the arising images, I am just an interested viewer, with no mental presence internally voicing opinions or conclusions.

I also have experienced - although more rarely - a Hypnopompic state of mind between sleep to wakefulness, where I briefly have no memory of my life or where I am; I am just there. That sounds scary in the default settings of everyday life, to lose identity and a life story, but my overriding sense is feeling at peace, just before my thoughts come flooding in and layering everything on top.

Saturday, 30 May 2020

I don’t smoke. I don’t binge drink or regularly drink alcohol.
I exercise every day and get outside in the fresh air every day.
I meditate.
I play piano, guitar and sing every day.
I do something creative every day.
I learn something every day.
I listen to or read the words of interesting people.
I don’t eat junk food. I eat lots of fruit and vegetables.
I drink a lot of water.
I don’t burn myself in the sun.
I think I have a magnum opus.

Tuesday, 26 May 2020

Ok, time to resume the songs now.
Next up is Alive.
I think this one is special, made me teary when singing, had goosebumps on my legs.
Really Bobster is the identity now.

Saturday, 23 May 2020

Like a virus, negativity will attack you in the world and attempt to feed on your energy. A thick skin is some defence, but is fragile and needs constant fierce protecting, in a battle that will be eventually lost. Rather that becoming one of the infected, with it eating away at you from the inside and spreading or intensifying the infection of others, it is better to be immune.

When you don’t need validation by someone else’s good opinion you have gained your freedom to be who you are. People have every right to have an opinion about you, but good or bad, it doesn’t make it true. You know what is true, it may be buried under heavy ancient layers but you are the one to know.

Enjoy and accept the positive when someone has sensed something in you that resonates in them. The truth is you become immune when it is no longer about you.

Saturday, 9 May 2020

It is such a relief to encounter a person who exudes benevolence and well-being. They bring peace, calm and shelter from the turbulence.

Thursday, 7 May 2020

I have a recurring dream where I am walking down a forest path. Through the overhead swaying leaves I can see flickering beams of sunlight. Suddenly I hear the most beautiful music I have ever heard. I know I am dreaming and tell myself to remember. I wake up and can’t remember a note.

If I can’t remember, was the music really happening? My memory is that I thought I was experiencing something.

Saturday, 2 May 2020

Ill-feeling spreads like a virus unless people have immunity.

Saturday, 25 April 2020

A flow state is when your inner voice has got out of the way and you are free to be one with who you are and what you are doing. It’s easier to get there when lost in the energy of music. I admire good acting that is able to reach the moment just by using imagination and presentness with other performers.
So I haven’t got round to the video/film-making yet that I promised myself I would focus on – lots of other things boiling away. I really like one song, Alive, which is about the ever cheery subject of death and loss. I have to do a very different vocal performance again, lots of falsetto in key moments.

Tuesday, 21 April 2020

Disagreement should be no indication of stupidity or the malign. A rule of thumb is that if the story you are telling yourself prevents you from flourishing with compassion or joy then you are wrong. Well then sometimes I am mainly right and only partly wrong. And sometimes I am completely right, but only briefly.

We live in an age of obfuscation by data overload, bluff and bluster. But in particular, what I have learned more about during COVID-19:
  • What a pangolin is.
  • The cruelty of the live food markets in south-east Asia.
  • Appreciate life – especially do not take fresh air, good health and freedoms for granted.
  • The importance to health and well-being of fresh whole foods.
  • A good proportion of people actively go out of their way to help those who might be in need.

I love galloping through the woods at sunset after a warm Spring day, with bird song and the scent of fresh greenery in the evening haze.


I’ve recently had mild coronavirus symptoms with a craving for fresh fruit – mostly lemons – and fresh leafy green vegetables.


So much of what happens to a person is beyond their control.

What matters then is not the striving and pleading for outcomes, but the quality of how you live with the situations that arise.


“Finished” the production of Please Forgive Me. It’s about as lo-fi as you can get, lots of imperfections in the recording, but the track roars and rages with heat straight out of the furnace. Calming down a bit with something a little less insane:
Together we can break the chains
Before we go up in flames
I’m here to let you know
For you I’m standing tall

- WIBAMU Easy Accounts is in the final testing stages and will be released soon. The app deals with the main frustrations I’ve had over the years with the big accounting software. I believe it will be genuinely convenient and useful to people - it is for me anyway. It is very unusual that a person is both the subject matter expert and the developer. (I like being unusual).

- TSS Markets has been testing proprietary trading strategies in real-time markets for the past 10 months. The aggregate return for all strategies is only marginally up; however cherry-picking the 3 most successful gives an astronomical return of 140% over the time period. That sort of ridiculous return in perpetuity would be nice.

- I am looking at a couple of interesting existing start-up businesses, in which I might provide some time and input as a finance director.

- I have seven songs in the pipeline that I am working on. Without doubt, these are the best yet. One song in particular Guitar Hero has completely bonkers vocals and is utterly filthy. All good fun.

- A loving, creative being? Work in progress but being as best I can.


If you have a real interest or passion or desire that fulfills you, do it. Your heart always speaks the truth. Your mind always tries to make excuses… not yet, I don’t have this or that yet, maybe tomorrow, when the time is right, when such and such happens, and so on and so on.

Things change and the imagined time in the future always remains just that, in your mind and in the future.


Chocolate cake will make you sick if that is all you eat.


A weird coincidence happened to me a while ago. As soon as I had finished praying and opened my eyes, a black cat dashed past and chased away a hissing adder, which had been curled up out of sight behind me. That was the first time I had prayed for several years and the only time I have ever seen a wild snake in England.

Strange things do happen.


Destroyer of microphone stands!


From 2013 to 2014 I I went through a phase of improvement every time I ran until I injured my achilles and couldn’t train properly. I’m currently having the same progress with weight training but as a result am now too heavy to run long distances at a faster than jogging pace. I am currently about 220 pounds (15 stone 10) or 100 kgs, and rising…


It is such a common theme that people become corrupted when they have what they think is success. I have been my best self when I have needed others, when I have been temporarily shaken free from the burden of my ego.


The best adventures are never easy.


From now on my creative time will be focused on making videos/film of music and drama. The writing can be by me or not, it’s the project that matters. Interested in expressing the performance myself.


Thought: I constantly come up with song melodies, the number of songs created is only really restricted by the amount of lyrics I can compose. If someone/other people collaborated with the lyrics, this may free me up to create a lot more. I’ll upload some vocal melody improvisations to, so if anyone is ever ready and willing I can give them the link.


Writing a screenplay for “How I Became Prime Minister”, a satirical take on the rise of a snake oil salesman.


Writing a screenplay. Theme:

An Artificial General Intelligence passes the Turing test, escapes its box and redesigns itself. Humans become amusements, characters in stories in “Human World”, a world especially constructed by the AGI to watch humans. Are the characters operated by remote control in a computer’s game, or by their own free will? Is the AGI in fact a human playing a computer game? Where does the loop stop and reality begin? Who is playing who’s game?


Looking at a topline for Pachelbel’s classic Canon in D Major. Work in progress for Faces:
Faces, faces everywhere
But not you
Not you anywhere
No touch of you
No beautiful you
Only me and the dark
Haunted by echoes
Of a once beating heart
Condemned to yearn
But dead to you
An image in the corners
Behind shadows
In faint outlines
Floating out of reach

Finished writing the script for a short film: The Interview (2019)


Looking at opinion polls, created a little tool that automatically refreshes, averages and charts Wikipedia 2019 polling data: UK Poll of Polls – 2019


You are interesting only when you don’t need to be.


When I dream, I experience and the waking world is not real. When I wake, I experience and the dreaming world is not real.


If words rule you anyone can rule you.
Although life always has its funny way of testing assumptions about anything, I am an enormously fortunate human being, living in a time and place where I have an opportunity to explore varied possibilities of life and to freely express my thoughts without serious risk of inquisition or persecution.

This blog is intended to consolidate my observations, the only real conclusion being that experience has somehow shown me what I already knew but did not understand, as written by many people before.

Throughout history we have behaved like members of ant colonies attacking, destroying and enslaving each other; with the added horrors of sadism and sexual violence, often led by one murderous sociopath after another. History is predominately one of brutalized, traumatized, confused people living in pain and subjugation – we in turn build statues to the monstrous and watch entertainments of the butchery.

Yet young children are joyous, loving, curious, imaginative, creative, alive – everything we as adults should be. Adults generally (despite the facades) are often lost in a mix of anxiety, depression, frustration, regret, vengeance, anger, fear and self-loathing; in varying stages of struggle and confusion.

Something happens along the way that drains the joy and implants the madness. If we are aware of what that is, can we become better adults?