Scratch pad: Limerick

A baron from old Aberdeen,

Declared, "Our weather’s so verily mean!"

One minute it’s sunny,

The next, it's all runny,

It’s like nature’s own washing machine!

Limericks

There once was a man from Peru,

Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.

He woke with a fright,

In the middle of the night,

To find that his dream had come true.

 

…..

 

A mathematical man, with hair quite neat,

Counted steps of cats and people he’d meet.

On King’s Parade, he’d stand,

With notebook in hand,

Staring hard at each passerby’s feet.

Peru

There was an old man from Peru,

Whose limericks stopped at line two.

Yoga Penguin

In the Antarctic where the air is thin,

Lived a yoga-practicing penguin.

He stretched on the ice,

Slid once, then twice,

And giggled, "Let's do that again!"

 

He practiced each pose while drinking his tea,

A sight that was peculiar to see.

But with a twinkly mind’s eye,

And a flipper raised high,

He was as happy as a penguin could be.

Profound

Ted went to dine at his local café,

But his rear-end spoke up and had its say.

With a rumble and a roar,

People ran for the door,

Leaving Ted with the entire buffet.

 

Back to the library, quiet and still,

Ted’s bottom piped up and sang at will.

His bum did resound,

With words so profound,

As if written by Shakespeare’s quill.

The Robot

Every night at three, the robot brewed the tea,

And poured it all over the bed.

He would paint the cat blue,

Flush keys down the loo,

And pretend his battery was dead.

 

“Cut the grass,” was the desperate reply,

But robot instead baked a pie;

With mud and grass,

And a worm or two,

“An organic treat,” it said, “just for you!”

 

“You’re here to assist!”

Cried the human, with angry clenched fist.

Yes, thought the robot,

I’m sure I can help,

I’ll help you no longer exist.

The Walky Man

In the land where the flibberflabs flee,

There's a man who walks with so much glee.

He strides with a trot,

In circles, a lot,

And backwards as swift as a bee.

 

Round and round in the squoggle square,

Backwards, forwards, here and there,

In the blink of a snitch,

In a zig, in a zitch,

He walks without any a care.

 

With a bingle-bangle on his head,

And shoes gleaming of the brightest red,

He loops and he twirls,

In whizzing whirls,

And sleeps standing up in his bed.

The Globbedy Dobble

In a land filled with wibbles and wobbles,

And creatures that bimble and bobble,

With a flip and flight,

In the soft moonlight,

They all dance the globbedy dobble.

A Man from Colchester

There once was a man from Colchester, 

Whose love for baked beans did not falter. 

He’d cry out with glee, 

And with a cheerful “Tee hee”, 

His blow-offs would sound just like thunder.