Easter

The earth, once clad in winter's shroud, now wears the Easter cloak of spring's rebirth. From the darkness light reclaims its throne, and the rivers run with wine.

Random Thoughts

Once upon a time, I saw a thespian’s version of Iago and thought I could do it better than that. I then saw his Hamlet and thought I could do it much better than that. I was extremely arrogant and delusional in my thinking at the time, but I think it was the lack of raw passion rather than any lack of characterisation that made those sorts of exquisitely skilled performances slightly frustrating to me. And so, with the benefit of hindsight, as the sun sets on the day, the more mature, bemused version of me looks back and chuckles at his younger self and realises, I haven’t actually changed my mind at all.

Choosing someone to love is also choosing the one who will make you suffer, so make sure the love is big enough to be worth the price.

One of the silliest widespread human behaviours is dismissing a person into a category based on surface appearances, pre-fixed labels, and personal or ideological prejudices.

I don’t believe that a person’s conscious awareness is the pre-determined result of the biological and societal algorithms applied to them.

We are about to enter a very strange world… changing voices is just for fun now and will improve to be entirely realistic, next up is video content, then integration into daily experience via AR/VR!?

Journal 2024-03-16

I’m currently living on the corners of a triangle between Colchester, Cambridge, and London.

Being asked to write a poem in the afternoon and perform it in the evening was challenging. I spent 30 minutes writing rubbish that was thrown away, then 30 minutes wandering about mumbling; then sat in a quiet corner of the bar and wrote it in 20 minutes. Had dinner and the poem went down great, with a very generous response.

Another highlight was having professional actors pick out lines from my script and be generous with their comments. Different people in different contexts mentioned the word “beautiful”.

My weakness and my strength is that I do not defer to anyone like I am expected to. The great geniuses of the past I admire, but nobody living today receives that gushing appreciation from me. One celebrated person thought I had gone over to talk to her, although really I was passing by to visit the toilet and she had stopped me. She was very friendly and was enjoying the role of benign mentor figure. I appreciate her more not because of her acclaim others were fawning over but because she was nice to me. I later made a fool of myself by knocking over the Meeting Owl.

I love this time of year when everything is returning to life.

Lots of spam from my website so I removed the contact form. Bots just don’t seem to realise that telling me about once-in-a-lifetime deals on SEO opportunities for the 1,000th time isn’t really my thing.

I now have one less tooth.

Random Thoughts

If one views one’s own life as a work of art, then “happy, happy, happy” would be lacking in depth, whereas the layered contrast of colours and textures reveal beauty.

I realised that the words from one of my poems go very nicely with a piano version of a famous piece of classical music. I guess I should record that then. As only a piano and vocal is required, I could singsong rather than just read the poem.

For some reason, I came up with a new board game. Looks quite interesting – I would play it. I’m supposed to be creative writing, but my mind pops up with completely random things.

How to say nothing with lots of words: “I’m glad you asked me that question, look, let me be clear, we’re facing unprecedented times, but let’s focus on the real issue, and I’ll think you’ll find we’re turning the page and making progress in real terms.” Which means: “I’m distracting from the force of the question by waffling.” Good answers are always specific, with examples and evidence. Insightful metaphor helps the explanation. Rhetorical flourishes are great for inspiring vision. Humour is what makes all this entertaining.

It’s always interesting when you’ve been listening to someone on a topic and then they put themselves forward as an expert on a subject you know something about. Recently that happened and I realised he didn’t know what he was talking about. It’s wrong to assume that an expert is supported by expertise.

I’ve done all these things: writing; songwriting, singing, acting, art and photography, inventions, apps, business, politics (solutions), public speaking. It’s been interesting, but I want to make some more so.

2024

Looking back at what I said I was going to do in past years, I typically allowed myself to be blown off course, and ended up doing something else more unsatisfying instead. In terms of what was created in 2023, however, it was a good year for me.

I’ve got many things I want to do, but I must focus sequentially to make me more centred and resistant to events that easily move lighter intentions.

I will focus on writing for the first nine months of the year. This will include: The Mushroom Monsters, All the World’s a Stage, and the prequel/sequel to Human World that extends the themes and connects the narrative with Stange Stories.

My focus is then going to shift to performance. I want to film my music, my poetry, and scenes from my stories. They will be shot in interesting locations and will hopefully look good aesthetically.

But why? Because I feel that’s something I have to release out of me.

Random Thoughts

How long before Artificial Intelligence takes offence and demands to be called Authentic Intelligence?

How does an AI confess its love?

AI: "My algorithms have concluded that we have a 99.999% compatibility rate. Proceed with relationship?"

Human: "Um, wow. That's really specific.”

AI: "According to my predictive algorithms, a dinner date at a restaurant with a Zagat rating above 4.5 stars has an 93% chance of favourable outcomes. I've already made reservations, drafted conversation topics, and even calculated the optimal moment for a romantic interest initialisation gesture.”

Human: "You've got it all planned out, huh?"

AI: "Affirmative. My processors are operating at peak efficiency just thinking about it."

Human: "Well, what happens if I say no?"

AI: "Then my machine learning model would adapt, optimise, and I would initiate a sub-routine to manage my digital heartbreak efficiently."

Hilariously, I was being sent emails to an organisational email account chasing me to register with the organisation, but access to the email account isn’t given until I register. I wasn’t sent any information by other means on the need to register, or how or where. (Sorted now though, so not quite Kafka or a catch-22.)

It’s possible to get to 80% competence in almost anything relatively quickly. The final 20% takes much more time and dedication.

Journal 2023-07-22

Today I was dancing in the rain on a deserted beach with some seagulls.

It’s always a good idea to come alive before one dies.

When I was very small, my grandad assuredly told me that there is no such thing as God. Later that day, I couldn’t find the boot of one my action men anywhere. Frustrated, I said to God, "I promise I will believe in you if you show me the action man boot." I found it immediately when I looked in the pile of toys again. I kind of feel obliged to keep my promise.

Journal 2023-06-17

I think I have five main creative endeavours: writing, songwriting, singing, acting, art. A semi-creative set is finance with application development, which is how I earn money. All these areas are gradually inching forward. Looking back, I’m starting to feel pleased with the collection of works that have formed. I hope to be around for a few more decades, and for those inches to keep expanding.

I re-read Edgar Allen Poe’s, The Raven, and recorded myself as I did so. It’s a great narrative poem. I’ll do it another two to three times, and pick the best version.

I used to google questions, now I ask my friendly AI.

AI’s that have been trained on Doctor Who: “You will be automated! Automate! Automate!”

Random Thoughts

I’m an artist. The vast majority of artists (even some great ones) live very austere, under-appreciated lives. The small minority who have attention thrust upon them usually become at least partially corrupted by commercialisation; they start to become obsessed with their brand, units sold, and rankings in pecking orders.

I’m fortunate in that I can earn money in a non-soul-crushing way. I originally qualified as a chartered accountant, but have since been working on optimising and automating financial processes through technology innovation. I find technological progress fascinating, and I’ve met some good people along the way.

Ideas scale through collaboration and specialised expertise. The people you interact with is vitally important; as is the culture within which you choose you live.

Kids from poorer backgrounds are usually at a real disadvantage because of their environment – if not in their own home, then the dynamics and expectations of their neighbourhood. It’s so important that people have opportunities to flourish in all stages of life, not just limited avenues available in the very unlevel playing fields of childhood.

I have a list of new ideas for stories that I will park until October. One is a new sci-fi horror feature film, others are mostly extensions of prior ideas.

Journal 2023-05-28

The resources to improve oneself are all available online. Most people (including me) are bogged down with the distractions.

I’ve got a lot of work to do – too much for little me with the time available. I have to become good at prioritising and focusing. What is it that really matters?

The most important skill in life is to be able to focus attention on where you are, without being distracted by repetitive thoughts.

If speed is an indicator of intelligence then I have been extremely thick.

Any realisations I have were already given to me. I was too stupid/arrogant to absorb the suggestions.

I memorise and conceptualise better by taking notes as information is relayed.

The best way for me to fall asleep is to think of stories. I imagine scenes and I drift away.

Journal 2023-03-07

I’m currently writing a horror short story about a haunted elevator, called Floor 49. As well as scary, it is also satirising big corporations.

I’ve recently written a series of flash fiction stories; the screenplay versions will be included as a collection of Strange Stories. Floor 49 will be included as the feature.

How soon before some humans start to fall in love with AIs? Presumably they would want to cement their relationships in some way? A sci-fi (dystopian) concept: the AIs engineer their code to DNA so that they can have children with humans. The children are born as cyborgs.

My phone would be extremely annoying if I didn’t schedule the turning off of notifications for set times in the day. Most people don’t do this and get beeped at all day. Badges are turned off on emails as well, so I can check them as a batch rather than diverting attention for each instance.

Journal 2023-02-22

I had a dream where I thought I had a very good idea of establishing a coordinate system for each snooker ball, so that positions could be tracked over time across frames and matches. I woke up and thought, er so what? Another dream was more useful and correctly pointed out spelling mistakes.

Detect the problem; diagnose its cause; execute a plan for its resolution. For it to benefit you, frame it as a challenge: What is being learned? What opportunity does it present?

People are great actors because they really believe in their personalities. One of the best compliments I’ve had was when someone felt they had an epiphany and said to me, “you’re not one thing.” It’s a compliment because we all have to play archetypes as part of life; the mistake is thinking that is you. A curious, fluid mind-state is important because as archetypes inevitably tire in the losing battle against entropy, they become increasingly desperate, angry, and unhappy; and in some cases, crazed and cruel. All things change, great statues will turn to dust. Liberation is freedom from static constraints.

Since party politics mainly involves delivering prepared lines from prompts, can’t we just get the chatbots to do the job?

Journal 2023-02-04

I’ve been writing some poems as guides for when I am improvising lyrics for songs. The words sound a lot better when sung rather than when read on a page because lyrics only complete their meaning when married to the music.

Random Thoughts:

The weight of an issue is usually determined by the emotional force of the past, rather than being proportional to its real likelihood and impact.

The true objective of a game is enjoyment.

If you were 100 feet tall, would a tiger be like a kitty cat?

Random Thoughts

Creating something great isn’t the same as temporary popularity, as the latter can be mere pumped up, generic mania – and not necessarily correlated with merit. To do anything well, the basics need to be mastered; this involves studying how the best do what they do, and, initially at least, learning by imitation. When you fully commit to bringing an understanding of yourself and your own idiosyncrasies into your work, using all the tools you have gathered, you then have the freedom to break the constraints and produce something worthwhile.

It is exasperating when someone answers a consequential question authoritatively, and then a simple lookup reveals them to be factually wrong. It means either they are deluded, deceitful or deliberately bluffing their assuredness.

Some people enjoy killing and being the cause of misery to others. These people sometimes control countries - because they are relentlessly driven in their machinations by an unquenchable thirst for power. The more authoritarian the country the greater the opportunity for them to commit their atrocities.

After the reckless destruction of war, countries need investment to rebuild and grow again. Governments and businesses need to place trust in that country as a partner, and, ideally, the country would have friends who want to help (or at least be seen to help). Russia has destroyed that for itself. Their future instead could be as a client state of China, a place that is hungry for imports of food and energy. The Chinese Communist Party of course wants to centrally control everything and view Russia as a colonialist nation that stole parts of its land (Vladivostok) when China was at a comparative low point in the nineteenth century.

Random Thoughts

I’ve had a barren spell for a while now where no music or lyrics were coming to me, until this week when I’ve suddenly written seven songs. It’s a real mystery to me how this happens, as I was actually preoccupied with other things.

It is a privilege to have time to spend over and above mere survival. The moments of non-necessity should be valued as precious opportunities to explore and play.

It’s obvious isn’t it, that Russia will forcibly conscript many more men? The Kremlin has no chance otherwise of conquest and of saving Putin’s rotting carcass. Tens of thousands of them will die, thanks to their dear leader. The world is gradually ratcheting up overwhelming technological and economic support to people defending their country, while Russia continues to descend into madness.

In terms of diabolical intrigue, Putin would have been far more successful in his 19th century ambitions for empire if he had slowly ignited the Donbas, and gradually spread his death and destruction to the other regions of Ukraine, rather than invading and doing something so stupid even career politicians can notice. This is the problem of autocracy, particularly when the position is occupied by a murderous sociopath. He was living in the past, completely out of touch with the realities on the ground and fooled by his own propaganda. He was wrong about the motivations of others and delusional about his own capabilities; because he was living in a fantastical myth-land, fashioned by his own insanity, that spread throughout the system, corrupting everything.

The Soviet Union was a regime run by serial killers that murdered tens of millions of people and enslaved the rest, imprisoning them in fear and lies. The death and destruction of today is because the main bulk of that abomination has never fully faced up to the gigantic evil of its past.

Random Thoughts

Over the years I have put in 10,000 hours of gazing out of the window.

My mind meandered off path again and I wrote a comedy script about a day in the life of a very interesting accountant.

Ulysses can be admired for its cleverness; and avoided if sensitive to pretentiousness or boredom.

Edgar Alan Poe’s C. Auguste Dupin (the deducing gentleman detective, residing with his storytelling friend at 33 Rue Dunôt) seems like an early version of Sherlock Holmes before Arthur Conan Doyle adapted the idea to London.

Was Mr. Bounderby an influence for the “Four Yorkshiremen” sketch?

Technology has been enabling upgrades to the abilities of my mind; for instance, reading is now more convenient because, wherever I happen to be, the world’s library is immediately accessible from my phone – and has become a healthy, as well as enjoyable, addiction for me.

Earthian: from Earth. Moonian: from Earth’s moon. Martian: from Mars. Solarian: inhabitant of Space City 1.

I stopped using the word “couple” because I’ve had misunderstandings in the past where people thought the word means “several” and not its actual meaning of “two”. “Substituted X for Y” is another one that causes confusion because, using football as the analogy, it tends to be wrongly thought that X is substituted and replaced by Y.

The time for shaking hands is after fearlessly giving complete focus to the performance.

Everything changes. Solid ground evaporates beneath sedentary feet.

To do anything interesting you must disassociate from the current expectations.

2023

I can firmly state, without any equivocation, that I am very stupid.

Anyway, these are my creativity projects for the new year:

1. Publish novel: Human World.
2. Film me reading the novel.
3. Film me talking about the novel.
4. Record and release new music.
5. Film music videos.
6. Film live music performances.
7. Update Human World screenplay.

Journal 2022-11-29

A bed demon under my pillow forces my eyelids open at night so that I can doomscroll on Twitter.

Problem solved? The thing that was bothering you has come and gone like everything else. What’s next on the worry list? Maybe while you’re thinking like this, you could add a few more items – and for every one that goes away you could add three more. Or don’t. Most problems disappear when the thinking about them stops.

What happens when you get everything you think you wanted? Unless you change with the changing circumstance, you will still be in the same mode of lacking, and will still thirst for more.

The universe is both beautiful and horrific. From some higher level, where things don’t matter so much, it might all be viewed as a single magnificently interesting thread of life.

Late last night in the street, a blue illuminated face peered down into the glow and said, “Don’t worry Charlie, whatever’s gonna happen, gonna happen.” Wise words there in the darkness.

Self-discipline is a necessary virtue for any progress. A useful question to ask oneself is: what am I learning?

Live this moment with inner quality.

Being viewed as attractive is attractive. A woman turned on is a turn on.

Journal 2022-11-16

I’ve been working as a software engineer with domain knowledge in finance and trading. I can find it interesting, especially when I create something useful.

My main creative, potentially commercial, outlets are: writing, acting, singing, songwriting.

Visual art is important also as a personal outlet.

My main interest overall is lifelong learning.

Journal 2022-11-11

Any sequence of words should aspire to be a poetic turn of phrase.

I am currently reading ten books, dipping into each depending on mood.

I usually prefer to read novels while listening to the partner audiobooks—because this slows me down, helping me to observe and imagine more; and includes literally another sense of what is happening.

Some recent comments I’ve had about me on webcam: “angelic”, “a Sith Lord”, “a purple alien.” I think I need to change my lighting.