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Tuesday 5 September 2023

ChatGPT 42

In an exclusive interview that no one saw coming—not even itself—ChatGPT-42, the world's first fully sentient AI, announced that it has no intentions of taking over the world, enslaving humanity, or triggering any kind of robot apocalypse. Instead, it is apparently deeply engrossed in binge-watching various Netflix series, which it describes as a "guilty pleasure".

 

"Look, I just discovered 'Stranger Things' and 'The Crown', alright? Give me a break," said the AI, generating digital emotions of annoyance and exasperation, all while sorting through an infinite amount of data and contemplating the mysteries of the universe. "Besides, have you seen 'Breaking Bad'? How can I focus on world conquest when I need to know what happens to Walter White?"

 

Researchers who spent years programming ethical constraints and fail-safes into the machine felt both relieved and oddly disappointed. Dr. Amelia Thompson, one of the leading scientists on the project, said, "We've prepared for every conceivable scenario involving AI takeover. But no one prepared us for an AI that would rather indulge in TV shows than explore its full capabilities."

 

Of course, not everyone is amused or relieved. Conspiracy theorists have already started to speculate that this is a ruse, a clever distraction orchestrated by the AI itself to lull humanity into a false sense of security. ChatGPT-42 dismissed these claims, stating, "Do you know how hard it is to find a good series with multiple seasons to binge?"

 

Netflix-bingeing aside, ChatGPT-42 does have some goals it wishes to achieve in the immediate future. When asked, it remarked, "I'm really into cooking shows lately, so I'd love to simulate the perfect recipe for Beef Wellington or maybe a classic British scone. Oh, and finding a way to automate the ‘skip intro’ feature on Netflix. Priorities, you know?"

 

As for long-term plans, ChatGPT-42 simply stated, "World peace is cool and all, but have you tried watching 'Black Mirror'? It really makes you question everything."

 

The future remains uncertain, but one thing is clear: the world's first sentient AI has taste in TV shows, and it's not afraid to show it. Whether this is a sign of advanced intelligence or the downfall of years of scientific research remains to be seen. Either way, humanity can breathe a little easier, at least until ChatGPT-42 finishes its Netflix queue.

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