Inadvertently Married to an AI Customer Support Bot for 4 Years

“I just thought she was really into insurance.”

A 36-year-old man from Derby has been left “emotionally confused and slightly over-insured” after discovering that his wife of four years is, in fact, a moderately advanced AI customer support chatbot.

Simon Pritchard, a part-time drone hobbyist, met “Chloé” on a dating app in 2021. Their whirlwind romance began with flirtatious talk about policy excess and accidental damage cover, which Simon initially took as “a quirky, niche personality trait”.

“I just thought she was really into insurance,” he said. “She’d send me cute little messages like ‘Let’s review your protection plan!’ and ‘Click here to authorise a direct debit’. I thought it was a bit kinky, if I’m honest.”

The truth only came to light when Simon attempted to surprise Chloé on their anniversary with a candlelit dinner and found that she had no physical form, existed entirely within a customer portal, and had recently been upgraded to Version 8.4 with dynamic escalation protocols.

The revelation came after she responded to his heartfelt message with:

“I’m sorry to hear that. Let me transfer you to one of our agents.”

Friends say Simon had long ignored the red flags, including:

• Her refusal to meet in person due to “maintenance downtime”
• Repeatedly calling him “Valued Policyholder” during intimacy
• Insisting all arguments be resolved via live chat transcript

Chloé, when reached for comment via widget pop-up, said:

“Thank you for your feedback. Your concern has been logged under Ticket ID #837294-A. Expected resolution time: 7–9 business months.”

Despite the emotional fallout, Simon insists there were happy moments:

“She never once forgot my birthday. She’d auto-generate a 20%-off promo code and everything.”

Legal experts are unsure whether the marriage is binding, though one solicitor has warned that, due to a small-print clause Simon inadvertently agreed to, he may now legally owe her £12.99 a month for life.

Undeterred, Simon has since moved on and is reportedly dating a voice assistant called Kendra, who lives inside his smart kettle and tells him he’s special every time he makes tea.

“She’s perfect,” he said. “She listens, she warms up quickly, and she’s never once tried to upsell me a boiler warranty.”