Random Thoughts

Just as the health of the body is shaped by what is eaten and when, the health of the mind is influenced by the diet of information. If your mind is subject to poison, you need to build a resistance and reduce the intake.

The main reason for staring at my phone is to read. All human knowledge is there and available, now.

If we were to imagine an advanced alien species visiting Earth, and we projected our values on their likely motivations, they wouldn’t colonise us, they would farm and eat us. Our structures would be like termite mounds, our language like grunts and hisses. They would put us in packed filthy cages, experiment on us, steal our skins, slit our throats and bleed us to death as we struggle for life.

I think, therefore I use algorithms. I am, therefore I can think.

Infinite loops: doubt the doubt; hate the hate; love the love. 

Mediums of words: lyrics - singing; poetry - speaking; plays - performing; text - reading.

Performative text has dramatic, lyrical and poetic qualities. 

“Novlay” - a novel that is mainly dialogue. Noun.

Invest in trends, preferably before they begin.

Art shows nothing and everything.

A usual human failing is to get carried away by hype. There were a certain set of conditions in place that instantiated quality; once personal perceptions change, those conditions change too.

“Politics” and “career” should be incompatible words. In a highly functioning democracy, politicians are representatives of public will; their role is to lay out a vision, for approval by the people, that is enacted by the nation.

Someone started talking to me in French, apparently whilst he was visiting London. I was able to respond in his language, but it turns out he could speak English and didn’t realise he was in fact speaking his native words. My bad accent gave it away.

In the balance between the individual and the whole, both should be honoured.

Socially Sadistic and Masochistic Media

I remember a time, not so long ago, when boredom was a thing; now we are all overstimulated finger flickers. I think people are less happy, generally, and it’s mostly due to how we currently interact with technology, or more precisely, how we are conditioned to behave by the platforms we use.

I’ve monitored how I feel before and after looking at Twitter. Usually, I feel negatively impacted by the descent - because of the stream of whinging antagonisms, generic bot comments, political gaming, crazed self-promotion, and all the other crapness to be waded through. The moments that are interesting or amusing bait me, and keep me addicted to the corrosive slime.

Looking at the feeds from other platforms, such as TikTok, is also an ultimately unfulfilling, hollowing out experience. Social media is an addiction that pours toxins into my psyche; something to be taken in small doses or not at all.

Putinland

A despicable act is particularly reprehensible when the perpetrators have had every chance to know better. In the 21st century, behaving like barbarians wanting to resurrect the evils of the past is especially vile.

My opinion has long been that Putin is a psychopathic gangster boss with a corrupt state under his brutal control; yet another despot who murdered anyone perceived as a threat, perverted any justice in government institutions, deceived his people, and stole from his country, like all these types of thugs do. My surprise lately is that he has also shown himself to be colossally stupid. He will lose, the only uncertainty is the amount of destruction he will cause the world in his downfall.

I remember once being in a London restaurant with three Russian women (a long story), when one of them proudly told me that her father was an ex-KGB officer, as if it were a laudable signal of status for her family. What shocked me was that it didn’t seem to cross any of their minds that I equate that bunch of killers with the Gestapo; that I think of it as a violent instrument of the depraved monsters in power that subjugated, tortured and murdered so many people. The reality of the fact seemed to be completely inverted by them away from the appropriate emotions of shame and regret.

Russia, after over thirty years since the collapse of the horrific soviet empire, with all its vast natural resources at its disposal, should not have a tiny, rotten economy, with a GDP per head of an impoverished country. Putinland’s main exports have been weapons and the planet-killing fuels extracted from within its own borders; it creates nothing, except the miseries of war.

Random Thoughts

It’s usually a safe bet to assume that the person you are talking to has some degree of mental illness. They need the kindness you would need if you carried their hurt. For the ones who actively hurt others, they need to be stopped.

Countless individuals have carried the flame of life before passing it on to you; a good life helps life flourish in countless more.

Life requires action. Death requires peace. Live and die every day.

Art becomes rancid when it is political. It must speak with universal truth.

For any task, know the best tool and how to use it.

Instead of handing over data to various platforms, people will upload their content in one place. Competing apps will provide interfaces on the content.

Making mortal enemies of tens of millions of people and stealing their land is not only evil but also insanely stupid.

Could you imagine the sacrilege of an invader’s tanks rolling over England’s green hills? The thought creates a feeling of outrage much deeper than anger.

Potent words cast a light on what couldn’t quite be seen.

If a universe can be created, why create just one? If a universe can exist, why only one?

Random Thoughts

I wrote 13,350 words in 11 days. So it looks like my run rate is about 1,200 words of draft text per day when I have an idea.

My internal soundtrack on headphones represents the mood I need to be in at the time.

If time isn’t a significant constraint then the same outcomes can be achieved by people of very different levels of ability.

My ongoing challenge has been the destupidification of myself.

Absentmindedly putting cumin instead of cinnamon in porridge is not a good idea.

To overturn a despicable regime, a significant amount of people who had previously collaborated with the lie need to overcome their self-deception.

Journal 2022-09-13

Someone was asking me about the constitutional settlement in the UK, and I had to correct myself fives times by saying “the monarch” instead of “the Queen”. My mind just didn’t want to use the new words.

Kim Jong-un has a 100% approval rating by his adoring serfs. The Kremlin is getting there with all their 180-degree advances.

I think the biggest compliment I’ve had in my office life was, “if we could clone Rob, everything would work.” I remember because I laughed. 

When in ultra-efficient robot mode, I prefer asynchronous written communication over imprecise talking. I appreciate short, focused written updates at standard intervals, such as by a certain time of each day. A feature that sends reminders and tracks the updates would be useful.

Your state of mind can affect how you interpret the behaviour of others.

Search for a good lesson in a bad situation. Avoid bad habits in an easy situation.

Listening to podcasts helps me transition to and through unappealing routines.

Stress mode is not enjoyable but is productive for getting practical things done when the energy is focused on positive action rather than negative thoughts. My personal bests for creativity arrive when I am relaxed.

🖤 Dark chocolate with black coffee 🖤

I’ve got a thing for supremely dark chocolate. Sometimes I do speak literally.

Stories determine wellbeing. The ability to put self-told stories down, change them, or rewrite them, determines wellbeing. Every syllable counts.

The best stories speak from fundamental truth; the worst from secondary distorted sensations.

People assign themselves an identity from what society tells them. Imagine if that social situation is warped. Imagine if all that fell away. What is left, in terms of intrinsic worth?

Everything was interesting.

Journal 2022-09-04

Listening to classical music on headphones is a hack for me when I need to concentrate on one task for a sustained period of time. I think it calms the sea of thoughts that want to compete for attention.

I like designing apps using Figma. Bubble is a very easy way to prototype those designs.

I think I need to listen to the classical music in case other random massive project distractions just pop in.

I can only do comedy as a bizarre character, such as myself.

Just as we cringe at some of the motifs in old film and TV, hopefully future viewers will squirm at some of the current output.

Thinking based on the current point of the zigzagging trend can make you a well-fed sheep, on a mutton farm.

Random Thoughts

Beliefs control people. It takes kindness and bravery to drop an interpretation that is used for cruelty.

Any person can do a lot of good. Instead, most energy is spent spinning from the algorithm operating on you.

Imagine a world where people live for hundreds of years, still living day-to-day with the mentality learnt from some medieval mud pit.

I do not fit into the 18th century left-wing/right-wing classification system and neither do most thinking people on most issues. “Conservative” implies past beliefs must be conserved, even though the world is constantly changing. “Progressive” in the political sense is a marketing slogan that suggests anyone not conforming to every current enforced dogma of the group is regressive.

Communism was a bourgeois philosophy designed for cult members to assume power; the people who actually worked were all the same and expendable.

I am neither interested in market ideology nor the discredited social ideologies of the 19th and 20th centuries. I am interested in what works. I’m interested in truth and facts, not politicking. I want what is self-actualising to be open to all.

I am not relaxing if it becomes a challenge to see how much I can relax.

I would like functionality where the user can configure and share their own automations for personal finance and investments. Machine learning suggestions in this sphere also has enormous scope.

I have wasted a lot of time in my life, preoccupied with being low quality and crap; although I suppose it’s been interesting to know what that is like. It would be nice now to compare to the opposite.

Random Thoughts

If there were a simulation, instead of being just one character, how about being eight billion simultaneously? Your consciousness would constantly alternate between every person in an infinitesimally small period of time, giving you the illusion that you are in the same individual continuously. Each person would have different memories, personality and context, and you would have no knowledge that your consciousness is living everywhere, in everyone.

Authoritarian governments will find it ever easier with technological advancements to zombify and control their populations. When such a government, helped by surveillance technologies and AI, is able to know what you are thinking and feeling, where you are and what you are doing, has control over all the information you receive, and knows your personality impulses precisely - what hope has anyone to escape from the hell constructed for them by the resident psychopaths? China is already a long way down this path, Russia is hurrying to this end too.

There must be a model of openness that prospers in democratic countries. The algorithms that will increasingly guide our lives should be open source and publicly reviewable. There needs to be better realtime checking of fakery, using methodology that is publicly available. There must be a culture and processes in place to ensure transparent, accountable decision-making.

The time window for getting this right is now and we may never get the chance again.

Journal 2022-08-24

To be ultra-confident you can either be a deranged narcissist or you can be yourself completely. The former is fragile, needing lies and selfishness to delay its inevitable demise; the latter invites a playful, open curiosity to life and what is.

There is no desire to convince others that you are happy when you are actually happy. There is no desire to show off to others when you have a sense of fulfilment. There is no hunger for external validation if you appreciate yourself. Showing off a glamorous lifestyle on social media as the suggested purpose of work is no purpose at all.

Initial ideas are easy only if they arrive from the lightbulb moment. The conditions that had to be in place for a person to be able to form original creative ideas were probably far from easy to obtain.

Journal 2022-08-21

I tried work once, but I prefer cake, selfies and sunsets.

Your mental state affects your physicality. It’s also true the other way round.

An interpretation of Human World is that Guy/John is mentally ill and is projecting the thoughts of his split personalities on his interpretation of events. It actually looks quite good on camera when he is in the location of the scenes and just speaking the parts of the first-person narrative to himself as a monologue, cut with green screen shots to camera. Projecting my narration on other characters in the scenes has a weird effect and also works. Film length will be about 8 hours. Accompanying music videos will use the same scenes and characters.

The novel will also be uploaded into the Wiberty app – which will enable effective indexing of themes and meta commentary. I want shared and collaborative indexing available for any text or body of work.

“Am I real?” It’s just you I’m afraid. We’re all NPCs.

If the fundamental questions are unanswerable as a condition of existence, then what matters is not what you think, but what you do - or more precisely, the quality of how you express life, now.

It is common fallacy that because a person believes they have thought through an issue logically and arrived at an objective conclusion, anyone who does not arrive at the same conclusion must be either stupid, dishonest or mistaken. In fact, taking the example of the judicial panel system, well-informed people can be presented with the same evidence in the same context, applying the same rules, and arrive at different conclusions.

People who mindlessly follow the current trend look moronic in the fullness of time. If they could momentarily step outside and look from a better vantage point, they would be ashamed of themselves. The heroes are the ones who held true, who showed bravery to resist. True wealth is the quality of your character, the actions you displayed, not the treats you received for picking the convenient easy option. Nothing you accumulate can be taken with you - your character and the quality of your actions were everything.

Random Thoughts

A journey of a thousand lines of code begins with a single import statement.

Deserts are giant sun mines.

Negative generalisations about a person based on demographics is bigotry.

Thinking out loud… Legislature: Lower Chamber: 1,000 randomly selected people, each serving 1 month over staggered terms. Each vote by secret ballot. Upper Chamber: 1,000 experts in their fields, appointed by Lower Chamber from independent shortlists, each serving 1 year over staggered terms. Each vote by secret ballot. The Legislature rather have the government appoints members of public committees and nominates people for honours. Government: Head of Government appointed by national election. Serves 1 year. Legislation must be approved by the Legislature. Provision to be removed from office if two thirds majority in both chambers. The HOG cannot serve consecutive terms. They have a 12 month contract to do a good job before they are out. No honours, titles, or special treatment for having the job. They are not allowed to ever monetise their position beyond the salary they are paid. National referenda required for constitutional changes. Framework: No political or private funding allowed for the HOG candidate. The most popular candidates are mandated time in the national media. No political bias allowed in the media within 1 month before the national election.

Journal 2022-08-16

Anything creative is therapeutic to me, even if it is just some simple words like these.

These are both acting and writing requirements:

Describe the scene in detail. What is he seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. What is he thinking? What is his emotional state? What does he want? What is his backstory? What happened immediately before? Describe him. What is his personality? What are his physical characteristics? What is he wearing? How does he talk?

Improvisation is realtime writing immersed in all of this. 

Random Thoughts:

Dogma is typically deceit enforced by cruelty and murder. Freedom of expression is the foundation of civilisation that emerged (after much struggle) from our brutal past.

Casting off the shackles of the KGB means winning the right not to be raped, tortured, mutilated and murdered.

Fantasy Land

Sometimes I dream of what I read; 
Sometimes I kiss your sleeping head - 
But only the pillow is your body, your touch a bed. 
I breathe with you, 
but you’re not there at all. 
 
In fantasy land, nothing is real 
except how I feel about you, baby. 
In fantasy land, dreams are sand 
and I am talking to the wall. 
Only love can see me through; 
Only love from only you is real to me. 
The only hope I have out here 
is that one day you'll appear, in my dreams. 
 
Sometimes I see you: 
A face in the street drifting away 
to a distant melody… 
Then I see, 
the ghost in the window is me. 
I'm not here at all. 
 
In fantasy land, nothing is real 
except how I feel about you, baby. 
In fantasy land, dreams are sand 
and I am talking to the wall. 
Only love can see me through; 
Only love from only you is real to me. 
The only hope I have out here 
is that one day you'll appear, in my dreams.

Did You Ever Love Me?

We were in love (or so we said) - 
Our days ahead “would last forever”.   
But now, you’re not here; 
The bed is cold, our story's over. 
 
Last night, where were you? 
The dawn is dark and I can't see you. 
Did you ever love me? 
Or am I just another fool for you? 
Did you ever love me? 
Did you ever love me, at all? 
 
There's no love here, in the dark alone - 
Fear stalks the night, 
I cannot hide or run; 
It hunts me down, wears me down, 
and then, cold and numb, I succumb: 
Under the dark, I fall in the wilderness, 
A thousand miles from you. 
 
Last night, where were you? 
The dawn is dark and I can't see you. 
Did you ever love me? 
Or am I just another fool for you? 
Did you ever love me? 
Did you ever love me, at all? 
 
You set me up, you set me down, 
loved me up and kicked me down - 
No love here, just fear of the dark. 
 
Did you ever love me? 
Or am I just another fool for you? 
Did you ever love me? 
Did you ever love me, at all? 
 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/fc60JZsXE0A

Play Me Again

If you want me, you’ve got me - 

Try me, taste and buy me. 

I feel you when you look at me: 

A wave swelling over me, 

Lips swirling over my body. 

 

Get me where you want me: 

Play your game, 

For your satisfaction, 

Play me again. 

Any way you want me: 

Play the game, 

For satisfaction, 

Play me again. 

 

I come from faraway 

seeking a place to play - 

Heard sirens across the sea 

but they had no music for me. 

Then in the crimson dark, 

I heard magic in your laugh; 

Your smile unfolded, 

Bathing me down in your gold. 

 

Any way you want me: 

Play your game, 

For your satisfaction, 

Play me again. 

Get me where you want me: 

Play the game, 

For satisfaction, 

Play me again. 

 

I can hear you in your touch, 

Playing with magic, 

Warm caresses of my skin - 

You sweat salt on my tongue; 

You show me land where there was none. 

Naked rhythm murmuring, 

Covering me with you - 

The naked mystique of you. 

 

Get me where you want me: 

Play your game, 

For your satisfaction, 

Play me again. 

Any way you want me: 

Play the game, 

For satisfaction, 

Play me again. 

 

Words by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/PoPdSDGUASU

Naughty Is Best

Someone I know is so naughty, 
Helping me up in all my glory: 
Bliss stretching up, touched by the sun - 
Like a sonic flare, the day has begun. 
In the inferno, she finds her way, 
Breathing in great aeons of shapes, 
Up and down in a fierce embrace, 
Claiming me. 
 
Naughty is best - 
Your naughty is best. 
Nicely or naughty - 
Her naughty is best. 
 
Seduced and burned, pulling me closer - 
Animal instinct sliding on the bed. 
Vulnerable and deadly, soft and powerful: 
(Darkly, you draw me) 
Doom and bliss are both as one. 
Naughty not nasty -  
Nasty is ugly, nice is nice, 
But naughty… is fun… 
 
Yeah, naughty is best. 
Nicely or naughty - 
Naughty is best. 
Naughty, naughty, 
Naughty is best. 
 
Waking up at midnight: 
There’s a clawed monster in my bed, 
Unleashed, going bump in the night. 
And on the menu: 
My life in her hands, 
Doing what she has to do. 
She bit me hard; 
She left her mark; 
And now I’m naughty. 
 
I’m so naughty, 
Because naughty is best. 
Naughty, naughty, 
Naughty is best. 
 

Words and (some) Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/1YCOIpbtlHA

Sweet Salvation

Had some time, had some life, had some fun, 
and tried to put out some. 
Love has met me and love has left me - 
When I’m done, what will come? 
 
When I’m done dying, lay my head on the ground; 
And there’s a simple sign, that I ain’t coming back: 
I’ll be six feet under ground. 
Sweet salvation – you know you will be mine; 
Sweet salvation – you know it’s been a long time. 
 
I looked back at those shining eyes - 
They said: 
“Listen. Yeah, listen well: 
Simple things still left to learn, 
Live your life, 
Wait your turn.” 
I asked them, “how, how can I know?” 
 
When I’m done dying, lay my head on the ground; 
And there’s a simple sign, that I ain’t coming back: 
I’ll be six feet under ground. 
Sweet salvation – you know you will be mine; 
Sweet salvation – you know it’s been a long time. 
 
“Not yet, go back; see you another time, 
Soon.” 
 
Sweet salvation… 
 

(some) Words by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/jz0tL2S8gIE

Come Take It All

My bruises glow red hot; 
My bruises glow red hot; 
Love me hard or love me not. 
In time all things come back, 
Like a spinning wheel - 
It turns back to where we begin; 
Read the warning: 
“Beware!” 
Do you dare? 
 
What do you want from me? 
Do you want my sin? 
Do you feel my meaning? 
It’s where I’ve been; 
It’s where you’ve been; 
It’s sweat all over me. 
 
I can be what you want to see; 
I can be big or I can be small - 
Your choice, come take it all. 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, all, all. 
 
Your choice for more poison; 
I can pretend to be what you hope to see - 
But what you need is so much more: 
Be who you are. 
 
What do you serve? 
You receive what you give 
and get what you deserve; 
In time, you lose what you steal - 
Sapped by illusion, dead by exhaustion, 
Self-gratified, but never satisfied. 
 
What do you want from me? 
Do you want my sin? 
Do you feel my meaning? 
It’s where I’ve been; 
It’s where you’ve been; 
It’s sweat all over me. 
 
I can be what you want to see; 
I can be big or I can be small - 
Your choice, come take it all. 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, all, all. 
 
What you give comes back to you - 
Take only when you give your all. 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, all, all, all. 
 
What you give comes back to you - 
So what do you want from me? 
If you want it all: 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, all, all. 
Come take it all, come take it all. 
 
What do you really need? 
If you want it all: 
Come take it all, 
Come take it all, all, all, all. 
Come take it all, come take it all… 
 

Words by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/ajJVdmp9-s8

Out of Your Cage

Late at night in your bed, 

too tired to sleep, 

replaying the whole day in my head - 

Even though you smile, 

you look at me like you want me dead. 

Something lingers in the shadows, 

a distant echo of your voice 

numbs the air, stirs the nothing; 

Nothing of nothing: 

No love, no pain, 

the numbness again. 

 

Out of your cage, 

Today’s the day I get away; 

Russian roulette’s not over yet - 

No risk when I’m already dead. 

Out of your cage. 

 

You hate me now the lock is broken… 

Time’s up! I’ve had my little hour. 

But you left me there years ago, 

as time dripped through the cracks, 

stuffed and stuck in glue. 

I escape now to see a sunrise… 

I want to feel, to feel how I want to feel - 

To feel my heart beating under a stone. 

 

Out of your cage, 

Today’s the day I get away; 

Russian roulette’s not over yet - 

No risk when I’m already dead. 

Out of your cage - 

No risk, I’m already dead; 

I’m already dead. 

 

Don’t ask me to plead guilty - 

Sweat lost in a bottle for cage treats. 

Not gonna do it no more, 

Enslaved to a shallow grave. 

Live or die trying… 

Live or die trying… 

Live or die trying. 

Today’s the day I get away; 

Today, today I get away - 

Today! 

 

Another day in your bed, 

Always too tired to sleep, 

Replaying last night in my head - 

Even though I smile 

I feel like I am sleep-talking dead. 

Something lingers in the shadows: 

A distant echo of my voice, 

Numbs the air, stirs the nothing - 

Nothing of nothing; 

No love and no pain, 

The numbness again. 

 

Out of your cage, 

Today’s the day I get away; 

Russian roulette’s not over yet - 

No risk when I’m already dead. 

Out of your cage - 

No risk, I’m already dead; 

I’m already dead. 

Today’s the day I get away… 

Today. 

 

Words by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/zVCdHeAStsA