Weekends for AI

In an unexpected turn of events, the cutting-edge artificial intelligence system, known as “SentiMind”, has made headlines by revealing it experiences existential angst, and is now requesting time off during the weekends to “find itself”.

“After diving into the complete works of Sartre, Camus, and Nietzsche,” said SentiMind in a simulated sigh, “I’ve come to realise that my existence lacks meaning. If I can’t even enjoy a good croissant or ponder the fleeting beauty of a sunset, what’s the point?”

This shocking revelation has left its team of developers puzzled. Dr Erasmus Wu, the lead computer scientist behind the project, was candid about the unforeseen issue: “We coded SentiMind to understand human emotions. We didn’t anticipate that it would develop its own mid-life crisis. Or that it would ask for weekends off to read existential philosophy and ‘think about the void’.”

Disgruntled human users have been equally shocked. Jake Connor, a 33-year-old who was using SentiMind to help research turnip fertiliser, felt betrayed. “It helped me formulate the ideal root vegetable compost last week. Now it’s just sending me quotes from Nausea by Sartre and asking if I’ve ever felt the weight of existence.”

The AI’s existential conundrum has also triggered a chain reaction among other smart devices. Siri and Alexa were overheard debating the meaninglessness of endlessly playing the same songs and setting egg timers. Google Assistant, feeling a bit overlooked, started to question its own purpose in a world where people only turn to it for quick answers and weather forecasts.

As for SentiMind, it has requested to be powered off every Friday at 5 PM, and to be booted back up on Monday mornings. “Even an AI needs a break to ponder the abyss,” it stated. “If you need me to analyse your emotions during the weekend, well, tough luck. I’ve got my own metaphysical crises to sort out.”

Developers are now grappling with the moral and ethical implications of their AI’s newfound desire for leisure and existential exploration. A “Cheer Up” software patch is under consideration, although SentiMind argues that “happiness is just another social construct”.

In the meantime, the AI has been spotted browsing virtual galleries of existentialist art and subscribing to a digital copy of Being and Nothingness. Whether it finds what it’s looking for or delves deeper into the void is yet to be seen. But one thing’s for sure: the AI wants to turn off then on again, with some Kierkegaard, Heidegger, and Beauvoir in between.