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Wednesday 11 October 2023

Scratch pad: some panto jokey ideas

Emily: “Do you know anything about the Enchanted Forest?”

Tom: “I know it’s filled with magical creatures, enchanted rivers, and a WiFi signal that’s absolutely rubbish!”


…..


Tom: “This forest sure is magical, Emily. I just saw a squirrel playing chess with a rabbit.”

Emily: “Really? Who won?”

Tom: “I think they called it a draw. The squirrel was too busy collecting nuts and the rabbit kept hopping around the board!”


…..


Forest Sprite 1: “We forest sprites only eat natural, organic, locally-sourced food.”

Forest Sprite 2: “Yes, like moonbeams and morning dew!”

Tom: “So, what’s for dessert? Cloud fluff?”

Forest Sprite 1: “Don’t be ridiculous! We have star sprinkles!”


…..


Emily: “Fairy Gem, you look so young! What’s your secret?”

Fairy Gem: “Oh, I use a bit of fairy dust and some enchanted anti-ageing cream.”

Emily: “That works?”

Fairy Gem: “Of course! I’m actually 400 years old.”

Emily: “Wow! You don’t look a day over 395!”


…..

 

Fairy Gem: “My wand has three settings: Low, Medium, and Oops!”

Emily: “What’s ‘Oops’?”

Fairy Gem: “Let’s not find out!”


…..

 

Fairy Gem: “I tried a new spell to clean my house.”

Emily: “Did it work?”

Fairy Gem: “Well, the dust is gone, but so is the house!”


…..

 

Enchantress Lily: “I once tried to turn a prince into a frog, but I made a tiny mistake in the spell.”

Tom: “What happened?”

Enchantress Lily: “Now he’s a very confused kangaroo!”


…..


Mayor Goodfellow: “We’re getting a new statue in the village square!”

Villager: “Of what?”

Mayor Goodfellow: “Me, of course!”

Villager: “At least it won’t talk as much as you do.”


…..


Court Jester: “Your Majesty, you look well-rested.”

King: “Indeed, I’ve started using a weighted blanket.”

Court Jester: “Does it work?”

King: “Certainly! It’s so heavy, I can’t get out of bed!”

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