Journal 2020-06-30

Human

Opportunity: Compounded improvements in the quality of life.

Threat: A downward spiral into oblivion.

Practical solution: Adopting a framework of good habits.

Goal: Aliveness.

Journal 2020-06-29

I am now fasting for 18 hours a day, eating a balanced meal at each end of a six hour window - called “intermittent fasting”.

My Phone

My phone pleads:

“Look at me,

I can show you anything,

JUST LOOK AT ME!”

Summon with caution, a mischievous little genie

wants feeding by my stare;

To bestow wonders or destroy the world,

it doesn’t care.

Journal 2020-06-25

Having a proper look around Twitter.

It’s a good way to get updates and information on interesting topics.

The massive downside is the angry political gunge seeping through it. I generally move on when people start writing in terms like “us and them” or left and right, this tribe or that tribe. Twitter seems to inflame that partisan ugly polarisation.

The gaming aspects of Twitter, such as gaining likes and follows, encourages people (irrespective of political compass) to clamour for attention, often leading to the normalisation of all sorts of distorting and destructive behaviour.

But to be honest, it is morbidly fascinating to look at all the crazy. It’s like picking a scab though, no good for me at all.

Journal 2020-06-23

5 creative outlets for me:

1. Playing music - vocals, instrumentals, producing;
2. Performing - singing, acting, public speaking;
3. Writing - music, lyrics, poetry, drama, prose;
4. Visual art and design;
5. Computer programming.

I’m not interested in comparing levels of ability to others, that’s not the point.

The more these areas cross-over the better.

The more I enjoy doing them, the better.

TSS Markets

Over the past year I have experimented with three different methods of trading in the currency markets: computer automated algorithmic trading, human manual trading, and semi-automated algorithmic trading.

Purely automated trading - using pattern recognition and data mining - has proven to be very unsuccessful, which is is to be expected, as it is highly unlikely that there exists a magic formula for technical analysis that can be applied at all times. If such a thing existed, the designer of the magic money box would quickly become the richest person in history, given the trillions of dollars that pass through the financial markets every day. Successful automated algorithms in the markets compete on speed of response to price imperfections, and to variances between market expectations and economic data announcements.

Manual trading has had variable returns, yielding a slight net gain, but this is no guarantee of future performance due to the lack of a reusable fully codified strategy.

The most successful method is the hybrid combination of a human and a machine working together in real-time, which has performed very well over the testing time period. The human (me) innovates and modifies ideas from large volumes of data, processed by the algorithm, as directed by me. The semi-automated algorithm then dispassionately executes the trading plan in the lifespan of the strategy, instantly and precisely processing every market tick, every moment of every day.

Vantage Points

I believe that to thrive at being a good human is the purpose, and tend to subscribe to something along the lines that: form ends on death, but time is just a perspective from one vantage point because the past, present and future are really one; all things are a part of each other, connected strands in the great tapestry of life; and maybe there are other dimensions of reality and incalculable vantage points.

Journal 2020-06-20

Any person has a wide range of emotions and impulses running through them, to lesser or greater degrees. Sometimes, given the right circumstances, grace can be found in the most surprising places; and sometimes ugliness is expressed where beauty usually resides.

Mindfulness is an awareness that enables greater choice over the energies that move you.

Journal 2020-06-19

Acting is an exercise in empathy: the actor tries to understand the thought processes and emotional life of the person being portrayed. I first look into the world from the point of view of a human being, then try on some different clothes.

Journal 2020-06-17

In good stories the brave hero courageously saves the lives of others; well these days it can just take a tap on a screen to save someone’s life. Anyone can be the hero.

Replication

A pollyanna vision of the arc of technology is that if robots can do all the work at higher levels of productivity than people, then in theory everyone could be wealthy, enjoying the fruits of automated labour. People are then liberated from economic and social necessity to fully explore life; to hopefully find true beauty, love and self-actualisation - instead of struggling, worrying and fighting over limited resources to survive.

Journal 2020-06-16

One of the effects of the worldwide shut-down has been to hasten the widespread transition from offline real life to an online virtual life.

The analogue world often has more reverence, albeit less sheer efficiency than the online version; for instance finding a seminal work in the labyrinth of a dusty old library feels like discovering a bit of history, rather than scrolling past disposable data on a screen.

Age-old issue

A: Angry humans of the twentieth century came to the brink of self-destruction, inflicting unbelievable suffering in the process. Hating the hatred helps it grow, even though it may change its face.

B: That’s just an empty platitude. If you don’t fight the malevolent, you are complicit by allowing it to continue.

A: You always become the result of the energy that moves you. Not for no reason has it been so often said that you become the thing you hate.

B: I have every right to hate. There should be justice! People sitting on mountain tops don’t have to deal with the realities of this world. If people didn’t fight for what is right, evil would walk over everything, including you and me.

A: You deserve not to be contaminated by this energy. You have a chance to be better, to make a better world. You can feel what is right and act intensely, but it is your anger that unbalances you.

B: Some people are evil, I have no intention of being kind to them, they deserve everything coming to them.

A: The world will only heal with kindness. If humanity can find its light there can be no darkness. You can help make that possible, right now.

B: Anything I do will not change the world.

A: Give your love and the world will be relieved. Give your anger and the world will be wounded yet again. That’s how important you are. That’s how important every single person is.

Alternatives

What would have happened if the US was not the first country to develop the nuclear bomb? What would have happened if the Nazis, Stalin, Mao or the Imperial Japanese Empire had the bomb first? No doubt after numerous live demonstrations on target cities, the world would have been subjugated to the particular brand of sadistic totalitarian control.

As technology progresses, additional existential threats to humanity will happen more regularly - the most frequently noted in biological engineering, artificial intelligence, and nanotechnology. Technology is also making it ever easier to centrally track and control people’s behaviour, enabling the ideal conditions for any strain of despotic regime to thrive.

The pressure to evolve to survive is growing for humanity; given the stakes and the alternatives, we have to get better.

Journal 2020-06-01

I sometimes experience Hypnagogia, particularly when I am very tired, where I have vivid hallucinations in my mind’s eye in the period between wakefulness to sleep. I have no conscious influence over the arising images; I am just an interested viewer, with no mental presence internally voicing opinions or conclusions.

I also have experienced, although more rarely, a Hypnopompic state of mind between sleep to wakefulness, where I briefly have no memory of my life or where I am - I am just there. That sounds scary in the default settings of everyday life, to lose identity and a life story, but my overriding sense is feeling at peace, just before my thoughts come flooding in and layering everything on top.

Journal 2020-05-23

Like a virus, negativity will attack you in the world and attempt to feed on your energy. A thick skin is some defence, but is fragile and needs constant fierce protecting in a battle that will be eventually lost. Rather that becoming one of the infected, with it eating away at you from the inside and spreading or intensifying the infection of others, it is better to be immune.

When you don’t need validation by someone else’s good opinion, you have gained your freedom to be who you are. People have every right to have an opinion about you, but good or bad, it doesn’t make it true. You know what is true; it may be buried under heavy ancient layers, but you are the one to know.

Enjoy and accept the positive when someone has sensed something in you that resonates in them. The truth is that you become immune when it is no longer about you.

Journal 2020-05-09

It is such a relief to encounter a person who exudes benevolence and well-being. They bring peace, calm and shelter from the turbulence.

Journal 2020-05-07

I have a recurring dream where I am walking down a forest path. Through the overhead swaying leaves I can see flickering beams of sunlight. Suddenly I hear the most beautiful music I have ever heard. I know I am dreaming and tell myself to remember. I wake up and can’t remember a note.

If I can’t remember, was the music really happening? My memory is that I thought I was experiencing something.

WIBAMU

WIBAMU Easy Accounts is an Accounting software that interfaces with Microsoft Excel, enabling automation and easy control of your accounts.

Easy to use – no need for software training or knowledge of accounting.

The ease and flexibility to customize WIBAMU to the Management Accounts you require makes this application a powerful solution for a small to medium-sized business or for your home accounts.

Users often have requirements to download data from their accounting software into Excel so that they can reuse the data in their business processes. WIBAMU Easy Accounts has been developed for direct use with Microsoft Excel because it is quicker, easier and more effective if the data is controlled in just one place.

What else makes WIBAMU Easy Accounts different from other Accounting software?

• WIBAMU automatically determines the correct accounting entries from your chosen options. No knowledge of double-entry bookkeeping is required.
• To save time, multiple data journals can be posted simultaneously in one bulk upload.
• Reports can be configured as you require and summary numbers can be drilled-down to the journal level to view the underlying dataset.
• All data can be exported and imported via csv files in a standardized format for sharing or interfacing.
• You can split any data journal values between Analysis fields as you define. For example you could split the journal between business lines, locations, P&L drivers, attribution etc.
• Any required details and reference information can be added to a data journal as needed. You can set-up your own drop-down lists of defined values in Settings and apply groupings and sub-groupings to provide meaningful management information for you and/or your business.
• You can create your own fields in the reports with any lookup data you wish to include.
• The Help Window at the bottom of each screen shows relevant guidance as you use WIBAMU Easy Accounts.

Functionality

• Quickly shows your profit, loss, income and costs at any time.
• Shows the financial position of your business.
• Shows the key ratios needed to understand the drivers and performance of your business.
• Automatically calculates the correct double-entry bookkeeping for any data posting.
• Controls ensure the accounts (debits and credits) always balance.
• Accounting journals can be posted by bulk upload or with templates to save you time.
• Enables consolidation of different business lines or distributed processes.
• Creates fully attributed and analyzed P&L, customized as you require.
• Enables trend analysis, comparatives analysis, forecasts versus actuals, debtor and creditor analysis, cash flow details, stock review and other flexible reports with groupings and drill-downs on the data.
• Also can be used for producing home accounts, debt balances and budgets.
• Easy-to-understand help information is provided in a support window as you use the application.

What are the benefits of leveraging Excel functionality?

• WIBAMU Easy Accounts can be easily integrated into any existing Excel-based processes.
• Excel is widely used by businesses – it is used to share data in common formats that people understand.
• The WIBAMU data structure can be easily reconfigured to include new reference fields and analysis splits.
• Flexible reports can be refreshed and reconfigured quickly and easily as required.
• Users can group, drill-down, sort, filter, find, review and update the data quickly.
• Powerful analysis and representation tools can be used in Excel on the data.
• Processes within an Excel workbook can be transparent rather than hidden in software logic.
• Excel enables Cloud-based sharing of the data and processes, with interactive commentary.

Versions

STANDARD VERSION (FREE)

The free standard version has a data limit in the Ledger, although any posted journals can be cleared-down and exported as external csv files to free space. Any WIBAMU data, within the data limits, can be imported from the external files as and when required.

FULL VERSION (PRO)

The full version has a much larger data capacity that enables 50 million data points, which we recommend is suitable for non-large businesses.

We recommend that you use the free standard version first to verify that everything works as hoped for and expected.

CUSTOMIZED VERSION

RW Finance can create a specific version of WIBAMU Easy Accounts for your business. If you would like a tailored version of WIBAMU fine-tuned to your requirements, scaled to the size of your business and integrated with your processes, please let us know.

Due to the time savings expected, clients who use a customized version of WIBAMU Easy Accounts are entitled to a 5% discount on any professional services provided by RW Finance.

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Downloads

WIBAMU Easy Accounts is a digitally signed application using Microsoft Authenticode, verifying Robert Walker as the trusted software publisher.

There is no need to install or uninstall the application on your machine. Simply download the WIBAMU Easy Accounts file to a location of your choice.

When you want to use WIBAMU Easy Accounts, simply click on the file.

WIBAMU system requirements:

• Microsoft Windows 8 and up
• Microsoft Excel 2010 and up

WIBAMU Easy Accounts – STANDARD VERSION (FREE)

WIBAMU Easy Accounts – FULL VERSION (PRO)

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If you have any feedback or suggestions for future versions, please contact us

To register the product and keep in touch with RW Finance: register WIBAMU

To ask a functionality question about WIBAMU on Tumblr: wibamu.tumblr.com/ask

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You can share a unique link containing your affiliate username and receive 50% commission on any purchase of WIBAMU Easy Accounts (Pro) made within 30 days of any clickthrough: affiliates

Journal 2020-04-25

A flow state is when your inner voice has got out of the way and you are free to be one with who you are and what you are doing. It’s easier to get there when lost in the energy of music. I admire good acting that is able to reach the moment just by using imagination and presentness with other performers.

Journal 2020-04-20

Disagreement should be no indication of stupidity or the malign. A rule of thumb is that if the story you are telling yourself prevents you from flourishing with compassion or joy, then you are wrong. Well then sometimes I am mainly right and only partly wrong; and sometimes I am completely right, but only briefly.

Journal 20190428 to 20200419

19-April-2020:

We live in an age of obfuscation by data overload, bluff and bluster. But in particular, what I have learned more about during COVID-19:

• what a pangolin is;
• the cruelty of the live food markets in south-east Asia;
• appreciate life – especially do not take fresh air, good health and freedoms for granted;
• the importance to health and well-being of fresh whole foods;
• a good proportion of people actively go out of their way to help those who might be in need.

11-April-2020:

I love running through the woods at sunset after a warm Spring day, with bird song and the scent of fresh greenery in the evening haze.

05-April-2020:

I’ve recently had mild coronavirus symptoms, with a craving for fresh fruit – mostly lemons – and fresh leafy green vegetables.

03-April-2020:

So much of what happens to a person is beyond their control.

What matters then is not the striving and pleading for outcomes, but the quality of how you live with the situations that arise.

07-March-2020:

“Finished” the production of Please Forgive Me. It’s about as lo-fi as you can get, lots of imperfections in the recording, but the track roars and rages with heat straight out of the furnace. Calming down now a bit with something a little less insane.

29-February-2020:

• WIBAMU Easy Accounts is in the final testing stages and will be released soon. The app deals with the main frustrations I’ve had over the years with the big accounting software. I believe it will be genuinely convenient and useful to people - it is for me anyway. It is very unusual when a person is both the subject matter expert and the developer. (I like being unusual).
• TSS Markets has been testing proprietary trading strategies in real-time markets for the past 10 months. The aggregate return for all strategies is only marginally up; however cherry-picking the 3 most successful gives an astronomical return of 140% over the time period. That sort of ridiculous return in perpetuity would be nice.
• I am looking at a couple of interesting existing start-up businesses, in which I might provide some time and input as a finance director.
• I have seven songs in the pipeline that I am working on. Without doubt, these are the best yet. One song in particular, Guitar Hero, had completely bonkers vocals and is utterly filthy. All good fun.
• A loving, creative being? Work in progress but being as best I can.

29-February-2020:

If you have a real interest or passion or desire that fulfils you, do it. Your heart always speaks the truth. Your mind always tries to make excuses… not yet, I don’t have this or that yet, maybe tomorrow, when the time is right, when such and such happens, and so on and so on.

Things change and the imagined time in the future always remains just that, in your mind and in the future.

23-February-2020:

Chocolate cake will make you sick if that is all you eat.

21-February-2020:

A weird coincidence happened to me a while ago. As soon as I had finished praying and opened my eyes, a black cat dashed past and chased away a hissing adder snake, which had been curled up out of sight behind me. That was the first time I had prayed for several years and the only time I have ever seen a wild snake in England. Strange things do happen.

07-January-2020:

Destroyer of microphone stands!

04-January-2020:

From 2013 to 2014 I I went through a phase of improvement every time I ran, until I injured my achilles and couldn’t train properly. I’m currently having the same progress with weight training, but as a result am now too heavy to run long distances at a faster than jogging pace. I am currently about 220 pounds (15 stone 10) or 100kgs, and rising…

22-December-2019:

It is such a common theme that people become corrupted when they have what they think is success. I have been my best self when I have needed others, when I have been temporarily shaken free from the burden of my ego.

21-December-2019:

The best adventures are never easy.

08-November-2019:

Writing a screenplay for “How I Became Prime Minister”, a satirical take on the rise of a snake oil salesman.

07-November-2019:

Writing a screenplay. Theme:

An Artificial General Intelligence passes the Turing test, escapes its box and redesigns itself. Humans become amusements, characters of stories in “Human World”, a world especially constructed by the AGI to watch humans. Are the characters operated by remote control in a computer’s game, or by their own free will? Is the AGI in fact a human playing a computer game? Where does the loop stop and reality begin? Who is playing who’s game?

02-November-2019:

Looking at a topline for Pachelbel’s classic Canon in D Major. Work in progress for Faces:

Faces, faces everywhere
But not you
Not you anywhere
No touch of you
No beautiful you
Only me and the dark
Haunted by echoes
Of a once beating heart
Condemned to yearn
But dead to you
An image in the corners
Behind shadows
In faint outlines
Floating out of reach

08-October-2019:

You are interesting only when you don’t need to be.

02-October-2019:

When I dream, I experience and the waking world is not real. When I wake, I experience and the dreaming world is not real.

28-April-2019:

If words rule you anyone can rule you.

Peace of mind

1:  Can you help me?

4:  Yes of course.

1: I am consumed with feelings for someone who doesn’t have them for me. I have trouble sleeping and wake up aroused. I have no choice but to think about her and when I do I am flooded with physical desire for her. This is “in love” right?

4:  You know that sexual desire changes and what you are feeling now may fade away?

1:  Yes I know craving isn’t love, but it isn’t as simple as that.

4:  What do you think triggered it this time?

1:  I don’t know.

4:  Pain is attracted to pain because it wants more of it.

1: I’m not sure I agree with that. It’s recognition of something in another, a similar frequency or whatever you want to call it. I suppose if you see similar expression in another, empathy can create feelings of closeness.

4:  Can you express your feelings to her?

1:  It’s not possible or helpful to be open with her, she has her own life and I want her to be happy.

4:  Examine whether that is really true, or are you being fearful?

1:  No, it’s not possible, selfish even.

4:  Then this is an opportunity for you to practice love with non-attachment.

1:  Doesn’t sound very romantic.

4: Love is giving, complete, the source of everything. Love doesn’t need to crave anything. This is where peace and serenity reside.

1: Sounds like you’re saying I should not get too close to anyone or need or miss anyone. It sounds unnatural, uncaring.

4: Love is not conditional on the circumstances in this world. Let your heart break, don’t be afraid, don’t struggle, you will find that nothing is ever lost.

1:  I don’t know what you’re talking about.

4: Yes you do. Be still, radiate love, your true nature beyond the conditioning of your mind.

Something instead of nothing

1:  Why is there something instead of nothing?

3:  Given an infinite amount of opportunities anything can emerge from the chaos, including our world. 

1:  But why are there infinite somethings compelled with energy, rather than nothing?

3: There was no beginning, our universe probably burst forth from another universe and so on. It has always been so.

1:  But where did the first universe come from?

3: Not everything has an answer yet, but no doubt it will be explained with the advance of scientific knowledge. Even if the goal is not reached, there is no need to include supernatural causes in the equation. Logic requires that we deal with verifiable facts, adopting the most efficient explanation.

1: Time does not make sense. The existence of things does not make sense. Can we not postulate the existence of something beyond time and space that created everything? Can we call this God?

3: There is no need to do so. We may not know what the variable x is yet, but we should not start invoking imaginary entities.

1:  Something doesn’t feel right.

3:  There is no evidence for the existence of a God or Gods, the world is explicable in terms of scientific explanation.

1: The fact is that I have always believed in God, it’s not a considered opinion or the product of upbringing, it’s just what has been instinctive to me.

3:  Ok well a cognitive scientist may explain this as a natural propensity to religiosity, there by natural selection to give a purpose for the survival of the organism. 

1:  Is there any meaning?

3: A person may look at the nature of the universe, see the randomness of outcomes, the cruelty and enormous suffering and decide there is no benevolence at work here. They may look at evolution by natural selection and decide there is no plan here. The universe, although magnificent, does not care about us - we must make our own way and make our own meaning in the brief window of opportunity for existence.

1:  Suddenly you’re speaking with feeling, maybe your outlook is motivated through sympathy and outrage at the sufferings in the world.

3: It is logic replacing delusion. Myths and fairy stories aren’t needed anymore.

1: I admire your beliefs more than belief systems motivated out of fear or desire for self-reward. I don’t care what you believe, as long as your actions are kind.

3: My conclusions are not beliefs. Religious delusions have been the cause of so much of the worst in humanity.

1:  Religions are subject to corruption, yet the spiritual path can be found in the different traditions.

3:  A God is not necessary to be spiritual, to behave with morality and to appreciate beauty in Nature.

1: You do have a belief system. You believe the universe ultimately has no purpose and its existence can be completely explained by rules contained within itself - when in fact there is no way of knowing the ultimate causes of things. You believe the answer to the mystery of existence is that there isn’t one.

3: I am offering the most logical approach to understand the world.

1: I don’t believe that the world would exist without a purpose. I believe in the possibility of a reality beyond this reality, beyond cause and effect, time and space. In this life I see the purpose as feeling connected with the world, being present and alive, feeling love, creativity, beauty and joy. The true reality of experience may run far deeper than what our senses show us.

3:  I deal with facts and what can be observed, not imagined.

1: Reality is tenuous – it can be anything depending on what our senses show us. Whether what they are showing is objectively real is unknowable. I think you have too much faith in the material surface reality of things, a reality that in itself does not seem complete.

nosce te ipsum

2:  Why do you hurt?

1:  Because I love her.

2: Do you love her? You could have done something a long time ago if you loved her.

1:  I was dead inside.

2: Ah bless. Don’t make excuses, you want what you can’t have – is that not true?

1:  No I hurt because of losing the hoped for happiness I might have had.

2: You are confusing emotions, thinking with your dick. You’ve felt like this before haven’t you?

1: Yes. More than once.

2:  You’re just repeating the same old patterns then aren’t you?

1:  Yes probably, but maybe I am because I didn’t learn before.

2: Ha, bullshit. Shit happens, you think you’ve learnt something?

1:  I’m aware of this conversation.

2: I’m you, dickhead. Have this “conversation” out loud on the tube, see what response you get.

1: I might get a couple of extra seats.

I know that your voice is interchangeable with the madness happening in the world.

2: What’s that supposed to mean! Wake up, it’s survival of the fittest. Obey the rules or be just another of the losers cast aside. I can help you.

1: Maybe you mean it, but you say the same thing to everyone else as well, resulting in everyone using and abusing each other for the survival of you.

2: Nobody gives a shit about you. If you’re too stupid to understand that then you’re just another of nature’s mistakes. Tell me, what is love?

1:  A sense of feeling connected with another, wanting the other to flourish and to feel joy themselves.

2: Bullshit. It’s a chemical response in your brain evolved to make you bond for the purpose of rearing children. The science is there if you are prepared to look. You’re a disposable puppet to your genes.

1: I don’t understand the unknowable ultimate causes of things and neither does scientific knowledge. What I do know is that if more people felt connected to each other, and loved each other, then the world would be a much better place.

2: Women seek to manipulate and control you. They will prod and poke you to see your reactions. It’s all perfectly understandable – they want someone dedicated to them who will do their bidding. Love and sex are excellent ways to achieve results.

1: I think that women are more likely to get extreme when they feel they’re not receiving the love they have given. But generally everyone is crying out in the dark to be loved.

2: Love, love all we need is love – it’s shite. You’re here to be somebody, to take what you can before it’s too late. By all means, pretend to love if it means getting women, that’s a good tactic.

1:  It’s also callous and hateful.

2: People who desire love want to be adored, admired, pleasured. A little bit of chemical voodoo and that’s your love. It soon goes when the chemicals wear off, when things aren’t as pleasurable as before, when the compliments turn into insults. I can get you better drugs than that if you want.

1: Sometimes with the need to be loved comes an illness that is one way, conditional and with high expectations for personal reward. It’s not love. But all things change, the illness can fade into full health.

2:  A leopard doesn’t change its spots.

1: You’re becoming boring.

2: You disappoint me. You are not survival material.

1:  Somehow that doesn’t matter any more.

2: You will gradually rot away to nothing. And no-one will give a shit.

1: Oh well. I feel a bit lighter. And you’ve helped me answer the main question. Yes I do love her because I want her to be fulfilled and happy, even if she finds that with someone else.

2:  Twat!

1: I would rather live in my world than yours. Cheers.

Humans

Throughout history we have behaved like members of ant colonies: attacking, destroying and enslaving each other, with the added horrors of sadism and sexual violence, often led by one murderous sociopath after another. History is predominately one of brutalised, traumatised, confused people living in pain and subjugation.

But light bursts through the heaviest darkness.