In a bold move to modernise worship and “stay competitive in the spiritual marketplace,” the Church of England has launched a new faith-based loyalty scheme, offering congregants one free sin for every ten services attended.
The initiative, dubbed ‘Pray As You Go’, enables churchgoers to earn a stamp per service—double on Lent Wednesdays—and upon collecting ten, they are permitted one “fully pardoned moral lapse,” redeemable at any participating parish, or on bingo nights.
Early adopters of the scheme can also enjoy additional benefits:
- Divine Cashback: 5% off spiritual crises during Lent
- Angel AirMiles: Points toward a morally upgraded afterlife
- Baptism Buddy Codes: Bring a friend, get a free cup of holy water
Parishioner Mavis Dribblethorpe, 83, was cautiously optimistic:
“I’ve been sinning on credit since 1972. It’s nice to finally get something back. I might treat myself to a double gin and a mild blasphemy.”
Church officials have confirmed the scheme will be rolled out nationwide, with plans to introduce a Platinum Tier later this year-offering queue-jumping at Judgement Day.
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