Come On

Too much for me to know - 
My heart says yes, but my head says no. 
Come on, come on, 
you live inside a screen, not where you belong. 
Come on, we can try to lose our wires - 
Know me, hold me. 
Come on, we’re too slow, 
staring down at the little blue glow. 
 
So you think you know you now, yeah? 
Tied in pics and shiny chains, yeah? 
 
Got to get faraway; 
Got to get away; 
From the script, we are taught: 
We are bought, from year naught. 
 
You can do it all, round the long haul, 
just to crawl around in circles; 
Or take the chance: 
A first-class boarding pass. 
Take the chance, take the big chance; 
Come on, yeah; 
Come on, yeah. 
 
Got to get faraway; 
Got to get away; 
From the script, we are taught: 
We are bought, from year naught. 
 
Yeah, come on, come on - 
It’s all in the air; 
It’s all in the air; 
It’s all in the air; 
On and on and on and on… 
Come on now; 
Come on now; 
Come on now; 
Now, now, now, now. 
Come on, come on yeah; 
You’ve found me alright -  
It’s time, hold me, you’ve got me alright. 
Come on, yeah!

No More Lies

Grinding away another day, 
But never enough of the same old stuff - 
Nothing to share in the routine stare. 
All this time, but time for nothing - 
Fair play, you'll get your way: 
A fashion victim, chained to the system, 
High-rise hypnotised, 
High-rise metabolised. 
 
Time to change for something new - 
Nothing more, I am through. 
No more, “not quite here.”  
No more, I am clear: 
Not saving for another time - 
This is now, take my bow. 
Now, now, I am now. 
No more lies and no more tries. 
 
Same old, “same old”, wants to fool you - 
More and more trying to control you. 
Take the last laugh. 
No more! 
Close the door. 
 
Something in me… 
Something in me… 
Something in me… 
Something in me tells me... 
 
Time to change for something new - 
Nothing more, I am through. 
No more, “not quite here.” 
No more, I am clear. 
Not saving for another time - 
This is now, take my bow. 
Now, now, I am now. 
No more lies and no more tries.

Visiting Time Is Over

Do you know something that I don’t? 
You want to live but you won’t. 
Don’t judge who you think I am - 
Only time with me can bring me back to life. 
Cure me in the night-time - 
Only you can help us find the feeling 
one more time. 
Nothing lasts too long 
with the countdown going wrong. 
 
Five minutes are up, move on - 
Nothing to see here. 
Five minutes are gone, move on, down the line; 
Visiting time is over. 
Time is over where you left me - 
Sent by the bell, back to the cell. 
 
Number’s up! 
Borrowed time returned in silence to the ground; 
Now I’m just another name, 
Another face in another place 
where there’s nothing between us 
except borrowed time. 
The alibi of silence: 
“Another time”. 
 
Five minutes are up, move on - 
Nothing to see here. 
Five minutes are gone, move on, down the line; 
Visiting time is over. 
Time is over where you left me - 
Sent by the bell, back to the cell. 
 
What do I know about me? 
I’m always hiding; 
I cannot be seen. 
 
It wasn’t over then; 
I will not falter now - 
We can climb higher than time. 
Five minutes are up… 
Visiting time is over.

Don't Give Up

Don’t give up, make your luck - 
Fortune favours those who dare, 
So don’t give up. 
Turn up the volume, love what you do, 
And don’t give up. 
You are who you are when you 
Don’t give up. 
 
You’re heavy in the darkest day, 
Weighted down and lost your way - 
Lighten up your dreams today, 
And let it all out. 
All great things just take their time - 
It’s tough out here up on the climb; 
Life’s too short for what you’re taught. 
 
Don’t give up, make your luck - 
Fortune favours those who dare, 
So don’t give up. 
Turn up the volume, love what you do, 
And don’t give up. 
You are who you are when you 
Don’t give up. 
 
Anything can happen, more than you imagine, 
So live with passion, 
Let fortune play with you. 
The future movie of your mind 
is new and undefined… 
Life happens 
when you let it bring… 
ten thousand things. 
 
Don’t give up, make your luck - 
Fortune favours those who dare, 
So don’t give up. 
Turn up the volume, love what you do, 
And don’t give up. 
You are who you are when you 
Don’t give up. 
 
Good things are here for you - 
Don’t give up on you; 
Keep on going, see it through. 
Don’t give up 
Don’t give up 
Don’t give up on you; 
Don’t give up 
Don’t give up 
Don’t give up on you.

Just Out Of Reach

If you want me let me know, 
there is more of me to show: 
In shadows of reflections, 
lost excuses of deceptions - 
In sight I hide, 
Just out of reach… 
 
I can’t get away, the past repeats - 
I can not see in the dark. 
Through dusk I grind on shattered glass; 
I try to hide in pride… 
My mind is: 
Just out of reach. 
 
Mesmerised by the dark, tantalised by fantasies - 
We don’t have time to wear these clothes: 
The anxious story urgency, 
carried memories we live today, 
(dropped for another way). 
 
Just out of reach… 
I can’t get away, the past repeats - 
I can not see in the dark. 
Through dusk I grind on shattered glass; 
I try to hide in pride… 
My mind is: 
Just out of reach. 
 
Just out of reach… 
I can’t get away, the past repeats: 
Just out of reach… 
Just out of reach… 
Just out of reach… 
Just out of reach… 
Just out of reach… 
Just out of reach…

Never Again

Look me in the eye 
and tell me your lie - 
Insanity needs feeding. 
The mirror is cracked - 
The neon lights are so misleading. 
 
Make my crown; 
Make my frown; 
Make me cry; 
Make me sigh; 
In love; 
In pain: 
Nothing to gain but shame. 
 
Chase your tail, 
Reach and fail - 
Never again, 
Never again. 
You bring the storm; 
You bring thunder - 
But never again. 
 
The meaning of life is to live: 
Love in the moment, with every breath; 
Holding on for dear life, 
to each other - 
Words silenced with a kiss. 
 
Chase your tail, 
Reach and fail - 
Never again, 
Never again. 
You bring the storm; 
You bring thunder - 
But never again. 
Never again. 
 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/hfUGh5ElecM

Everything's Bigger in Texas

Driving down highway eighty, 
There was something hard to miss: 
Just one star in the sky, shining down on me. 
At the end of the line, I saw a big old sign, 
politely reminding me: 
In the land of the free, from sea to shining sea, 
Everything's bigger in Texas. 
Everything's bigger in Texas. 
Everything's bigger in Texas… 
 
From the sound of my guitar, 
to the smiles that I meet, to the stomp of the feet, 
to the rhythm for company, to the hospitality… 
 
Yeah, I stayed around 'til breakfast, 
and in my dreams I made that day, 
I had my independence day. 
Because everything's bigger in Texas. 
Everything's bigger in Texas. 
Everything's bigger in Texas. 
 
Although I was just passing through, 
I roamed on by the country; 
The sky was turquoise blue, 
A warm haze rose to the heavens; 
And I saw the sunset on the prairie; 
And it was something real tremendous, 
Because everything's bigger in Texas. 
 
Yeah, everything's bigger in Texas. 
Everything's bigger in Texas. 
Everything's bigger in Texas. 
Everything's bigger in Texas. 
 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/kgDHBXR7M6I

Here Without You

Feeling the way the river flows, 
the way the wind blows - 
It goes right through me… 
Am I here, in someone else's dream? 
Do I exist at all, here without you? 
 
It came to me like a thunder cloud in blue 
to be told we are through - 
It crashed right into me. 
But still I hope for you; 
I'll always feel for you; 
I'll long for you, over and over… 
Here without you. 
 
Why do I hunger and need you so? 
Because I'm me, 
Because of you (of you!) 
Why do I hunger and need you so? 
Because I've always loved you… 
I love you. 
Why do I hunger here all alone? 
Because I've always loved you… 
I love you. 
 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/a80FXZdUCic

Somehow

The touch of rain kisses the pain of you. 
To the bitter end, I will always be your friend. 
There's nothing I can do, 
Nowhere to be with you. 
 
On a hope and a prayer, 
On the edge of nowhere, 
I see you here in everything I do. 
I know I lost somehow - 
Before you took your vow, 
I knew that time would carry you away. 
 
Winter draws on but still I hold on, 
To thoughts of you - 
Somehow, 
Somewhere, 
My heart is lost in time… 
 
I felt you here somehow; 
I knew you knew somehow; 
I feel for you in everything I do. 
I must leave you now, somehow. 
I need you to know: 
Somehow, 
Somehow, I felt you here - 
Somehow, I knew you knew; 
Somehow, I must leave you now… 
Somehow. 
Somehow. 
 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/HUV5x13RNIU

I Just Miss You

Your train had vanished down the track, 
left me there, not looking back. 
All I see ahead of me are seasons of mists 
numbing me, to the core - 
because you're not here anymore. 
 
I just miss you; 
I really miss you; 
Love finds a way, 
through summer and winter… 
Over mountains faraway, 
Is the song of you. 
 
I'll find the way; 
I'll find you some day… 
In a warm calm sea, 
Kissed by the dance of the sun, 
Is the lost dream of you. 
 
I just miss you; 
I really miss you; 
Love finds a way, 
through summer and winter… 
Over mountains faraway, 
Is the song of you. 
 
I have long missed you; 
I have fallen short of you. 
Every day is the same, 
looking through the rows of faces, 
in the old familiar places. 
 
I just miss you; 
I really miss you; 
Love finds a way, 
through summer and winter… 
Over mountains faraway, 
Is the song of you. 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/ED7qIJOCSK8

April Fool

I'm just a little soul, 
part of a bigger goal; 
Just give me somebody to hold. 
 
Said the fool: I've a world to rule - 
Poisoned flower's scent turned sour; 
Beauty within me bloomed and faded so fast. 
 
April fool, another broken rule; 
The sky is on the floor 
for this poor April fool. 
 
Even if the sun were bright, 
the day for us has faded to night; 
But the light now turns round and round… 
I'm falling in time with you 
again and again, once more. 
 
Put my body in your hands - 
Please don't try to understand 
(I'm twisted round and round.) 
I was always the April fool - 
April fooled, always the April fool. 
 
April fool, another broken rule; 
The sky is on the floor 
for this poor April fool. 
April fool, another broken rule; 
The sky is on the floor 
for this poor April fool. 
 
Another April fool; 
Another April fool; 
Fool, fool, April fool. 
 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/1n7PJlwAAOQ

Night Eyes

I am absent without leave 
in ways you can’t perceive. 
Bail me out, show me what I am about: 
All hard and cold, of fool’s gold, 
in fool's paradise. 
Show me what you are about. 
Show me what I must do: 
What we must do; 
What you can do… 
 
You are the night eyes 
when I escape behind closed eyes. 
Tonight, with love, we know 
I am here with you. 
You are Night Eyes; 
I see tonight, Night Eyes, 
With you. 
 
You've been waiting, anticipating, 
what I have to say. 
You told me: 
More fool me; 
There was always, always more to see. 
But I misunderstood, 
“A little bit of what you fancy does you good.” 
Ok, I'll be as good as gold - 
Forever waiting’s over, over, over. 
 
You are the night eyes 
when I escape behind closed eyes. 
Tonight, with love, we know 
I am here with you. 
You are Night Eyes; 
I see tonight, Night Eyes, 
With you. 

 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/jfosmmTK2hU

Better Late Than Never

I know I should have been here long ago, 
but I lost my way; 
I lost my mind in circles around you; 
I'm sorry, so sorry. 
Maybe it was just another story about us, 
with words that swirl around you and me - 
Better late than never. 
 
You don't know I've been sinking in the moments 
of fear that hurt us; 
Fear stopped us, 
I lost us; 
I'm sorry, so sorry. 
I was out of sight, out of mind, miles behind, 
without a trace, fallen from grace - 
Better late than never together. 
 
Better late than never; 
In the end, we are together - 
Through time we find 
love is forever. 
Better late than never; 
Better together; 
Out of time we find 
love is forever; 
Together forever - 
Better late than never. 
 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/7B7VNtt0dzU

Be Now

Everything can come to those who live 
and won't wait: 
Something good, something great - 
Yeah, I’m not in 
control. 
 
Rise and shine, everything's fine; 
You're all good, be as it should - 
Be now: 
The rub of the green, with no routine… 
Be now. 
 
Less is so much more; 
It hits home here, to the core - 
A bolt from the blue. 
Now I know, I know how to be, 
you free me; 
Only now I am me - 
You free me, 
I am me. 
 
Rise and shine, everything's fine; 
You're all good, be as it should - 
Be now: 
The rub of the green, with no routine… 
Be now. 
 
Love lives inside me, never asleep, 
alive and forever, 
you’re more than skin deep; 
I will never ever get lost; 
I am here and now 
forever… 
 
Now I know, 
I know how to be: 
You free me… 
Be now. 
 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/td-uRCvlJ34

Only Love Is Real

I need to find some peace of mind - 
I watch the ride: 
A thousand eyes shining in space, 
In the beauty of you. 
 
Only love is real… 
I am now awake 
With where my heart is now - 
Now in life: 
Only you, 
Only you are real… 
Only love is real to me. 
 
Life is what you make - 
Drop the story; 
The past is what you make, 
Right now. 
Be something new 
Beyond yourself; 
In the moment, 
Only love is real. 
 
Only love is real to me - 
Only you. 
Only you are real to me: 
Only love is real. 
 
Intimate together, 
Love lasts forever -  
One heart never apart. 
 
Only love, 
Only you, 
Only you are real to me. 
Only love is real. 
 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/_YxruLEcyHc

This Too Will Pass

Slipping and sliding, 

Commanding the tides - 

Bitter struggling against my mind. 

But nothing can last, 

This too will pass. 

 

Minds crashing and colliding - 

Anxiety, when dreaming away, 

Ignoring the lights. 

Night turns to day, day turns to night… 

The future's the past. 

Nothing ever lasts. (This too will pass.) 

 

In the stillness and the storm, 

Victory’s glowing so strong; 

It sinks down in the dark, 

Rising up to start again, 

To rust away again - 

To dust. 

 

In the end, 

Through pain and beauty, beauty and pain: 

Only love remains. 

No thing ever lasts; 

The past’s the past. 

Stories end, new dreams begin - 

Only love remains, 

Only love remains. 

 

Love moves the wind; 

Nothing stays the same - 

Floating away, away… 

With the end of the day: 

Only love remains, 

Only love remains. 

 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/9xwmOoV2T2E

Our Way Back

Our way back is 
to where we were before, 
before we started - 
Where it's taken a lifetime 
for us to be together… 
Where we departed. 
 
I’ve been a dark horse 
running from the source 
to the back of beyond, 
on an uneven course - 
Where every lost cloud was a memory 
of my way back to you. 
 
Our way back 
is there forever in our soul - 
Where I breathe with you; 
Where dreams are always true. 
Tell me now, 
What do you want me to do? 
I know that we can be together, 
Where forever is our soul; 
Our way back is forever in our soul. 
Our love is our way back.

Between The Lines

I am here now for your pleasure, 
Light me up, I'm at your leisure - 
You don't know what I am thinking; 
You don't know that I am 
winking. 
 
The illusion: 
An old delusion, 
found again and lost again. 
I just missed you, 
How I missed you! 
I'm the secret hiding from you. 
 
See between the lines: 
See the signs, all around you. 
Today is our time: 
Sleepy sunshine, 
Above and beyond, 
Between the lines. 
 
Know that I see you like no other - 
I am more than just your lover. 
I am not just going somewhere -  
I am here through time 
and back 
again… 
 
I am not a number, 
I live in wonder 
now - 
You know I found it out somehow, 
Shining in the faces, 
Turning over all my pages. 
 
See between the lines: 
See the signs, all around you. 
Feel between the lines: 
Feel the signs, all around you. 
See between the lines: 
See the signs, all around you; 
Feel the signs, all around you. 
 
Today is our time: 
Sleepy sunshine, 
Above and beyond, 
Between the lines.

Journal 2022-08-06

I’m collating my lyrics from dozens of songs at the moment.

Random Thoughts:

If you drop the story in your mind for one minute, what happens? You don’t have the thoughts in your mind that distress you. You are alive, now, in this fascinatingly weird and beautiful place.

Lying is the language of Evil; an ugly, twisted distortion of truth.

Happiness is a state of aliveness - no things are needed.

It Can’t Be You

You entered, in my mind, 

so long ago, so long ago - 

Even though you were a passing shadow 

unlikely for me to see again. 

Sometimes I’d see you in my mind: 

I’d think of what you were doing, 

what you were seeing, 

what you were imagining - 

You were an unnamed figure 

floating through my mind. 

 

I saw you again the other day 

In an unexpected place. 

You answered all my questions, 

But how can I feel like this? 

It can’t be you… 

It can’t be you… 

It can’t be you. 

 

How can this happen, here and now? 

Before I’ve even started, 

I know how far I’ve got to go… 

And each day is harder than the one before 

because I can’t reach you. 

 

I saw you again the other day 

In an unexpected place. 

You answered all my questions,  

But how can I feel like this? 

It can’t be you… 

It can’t be you… 

It can’t be you.

Another Thing Coming

Through the window I could see 

a glimmering gaze waiting for me - 

A choice, in the noise: 

Light from afar or delight at the bar. 

One more day mind glazed; 

One more day in the shade; 

One more day of empty glasses; 

One more day for second chances - 

Fear stained memories in a cage, 

forgotten feelings in a haze, 

cold and shrill and numbing: 

Another thing coming… 

So time for home, time for bed, 

too many words have been said; 

Cold relief, short and brief, 

turning tables, writing labels, 

making time to switch (which is which?) 

One more day mind glazed; 

One more day in the shade; 

One more day of empty glasses; 

One more day for second chances - 

Fear stained memories in a cage, 

forgotten feelings in a haze, 

cold and shrill and numbing: 

Another thing coming… 

Now you’ve set me up 

in the middle of some good luck, 

with the myth: 

The iron gate of an altered state - 

Myself withheld from all my sins, 

falling down on the sharpened ground. 

The night-time cure, the magic mixture, the mystery - 

Your special power shimmers in a night-shine, 

a potion of lost emotion reflecting 

a fantasy in my head. 

One more day mind glazed; 

One more day in the shade; 

One more day of empty glasses; 

One more day for second chances - 

Fear stained memories in a cage, 

forgotten feelings in a haze, 

cold and shrill and numbing: 

Another thing coming…

A Song Within

Battles closing minds at war;

Fights the same, just as before.

Raging struggles in your way, 

surviving another day of artificial, unsubstantial

Fears full of the end.

A song within is for display -

Play it now, play it loud, play it soft;

But most of all: 

Love it all.

“Them and us, us and them” makes it easy to condemn - 

Red in tooth and claw does not have to be the law;

Anger bathed in fear only makes another tear.

Take another step, the next step, for all.

A song within is for display -

Play it now, play it loud, play it soft;

But most of all: 

Love it all.

Listen to the whisper, quiet and small: 

Light belongs to all -

But most of all:

Love it all.

 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/NyXsRooziNg

Blah De Blah

Tedium… 

Tedious conversation… 

Boring repeats, heard it all before:

Blah de blah, boring blah blah,

“How dare you, what about me?”

Blah blah, blah de blah blah,

boring, blah blah blah.

The same look in the eyes, the same scripted replies:

“I’m better than, I’m more than” - comparison of facades.

Seeking, needing the outrage;

fanning the flames, finding someone to blame.

Taught behaviour, taught script:

“Look at me! Aren’t I special. Give me a biscuit!”

“My happy versus your happy;”

“Aren’t I special because I conform.”

(Spoon fed some rules.)

Blah de blah, boring blah blah,

“How dare you, what about me?”

Blah blah blah, blah de blah blah,

boring, blah blah blah.

“Everybody must have the same opinion” - 

Nobody knows everything, even about one thing:

The more I see the less I know; the more I see the more I feel.

Explanations unfold, change colour and disappear into space -

The enormity and hugeness of limitless space…

Blah de blah, boring blah blah,

“How dare you, what about me?”

Blah blah, blah de blah blah,

boring, blah blah blah.

No need to be imprisoned by a side, by a tribe - 

Each day is different, rules are for machines.

Exceptions are for you.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

 

Words by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/ghBak0m_M_c

Journal 2022-07-17

(Writer, songwriter), (actor, singer), (art, innovation).

I have done, am doing, and will do, all this.

Writer is the first and current focus.

Acting and innovation are broad categories, comprising different activities.

Keep moving, wibble wobble rhubarb etc.

Random Thoughts

The goal with current gaps and an action plan. Has anyone done this analysis for humanity? (I mean one that is based on universal flourishing and kindness, not written by useful idiots and implemented by empowered psychopaths.)

Energy builds up internally through relentless thinking and wants to be released.

Working is more fulfilling than chilling.

Reduce work by doing it.

I am a writer. I perform for necessity or fun.

Summarise rather than simplify.

Right now, everything is probably fine. There will be challenges, and preparation for them is a good idea - but whatever they may be, this exact moment is probably fine.

Maybe a school exam question in the future: To what extent was the series of US imbecilic Presidents and broken political system responsible for the reaffirmation of totalitarianism in non-Western countries? Was this causally connected to the emergence of the Internet and social media?

Marcus Aurelius was succeeded by Commodus. As a metaphor, even philosopher kings beget tyranny.

In the totalitarian mindset, facts are attacked and suppressed if they do not conform to belief stories.

Journal 2022-07-12

Either use apps or read books of jokes, facts, quotes and vocabulary. Collated paragraphs of knowledge primers would be beneficial to learning as well.

Random Thoughts:

The past can offer lessons and warnings, but should not determine the quality of today nor the direction of the future.

These words are words. Your thoughts determine the effect on you, good or bad.

Anything great is always achieved outside of society’s expectations.

It is compassionate to be happy.

Be someone’s smile.

Journal 2022-07-09

I’m absolutely happy with the reservoirs of knowledge and culture that my phone makes available to me, including:

• Monthly subscriptions to Kindle, Audible, Spotify/Apple Music. 
• Follows of blogs, micro-blogs, video playlists and podcasts (with an option to support).

The one missing is a platform that provides the availability of any course of learning to everyone.

Random Thoughts:

Certainty is limited. Uncertainty is unbounded infinite possibility.

There was a brief interlude in the 1950s to 1990s when delusion and unfairness started to diminish. The desire for fairness has continued in this century, but people have become far more delusional and crazed, making fair outcomes less likely and opening the door to the truly vile forces that have wreaked misery through so much of history.

Are you a societal meme?

I am impossible to offend. “You’re a blancmange!” they say. Ok, well you have your opinions, and I’ll have mine.

Everyone you meet and everyone who is affected by you needs you not to be a twat.

JBK

I’m not interested in your hair, eye or skin colour. I don’t care what type of person you fancy. I don’t care what you identify as or belief system you follow. Just be kind.

Random Thoughts

There have been plenty of middle management monsters running countries in history - they are psychotic narcissists who copy from a playbook given to them and repeat the past.

Can creativity thrive under authoritarian conditions, aided by artificial intelligence? Can slaves be compelled and threatened to create? Can they create if they are constantly lied to and manipulated, rather than inspired? The correlation to date has been with freedom.

If consciousness can be programmed to live in a heavenly state of bliss, why bother creating simulations? If reality can be anything, then why this one?

People who put percentage probabilities on the origins and nature of existence have a myopic view of the probability tree.

Exploring was great, but I am now about to focus. I probably won’t be updating my word count here, for a while.

Random Thoughts

On a hot day, humans can outrun horses over long distances.

Thoughts determine your wellbeing. Fluffy thoughts are lovely; however if they are based on some personal deceit, they will turn sour. Negative thoughts destroy you and everything you experience. Positive thoughts based on what is true is the optimal state of being.

I enjoy sentences where different interpretations are all true. The sentence is the fact, but the meaning is multiple. The ultimate sentence is when, on some higher level, all the seemingly contradictory explanations harmonise as one great beauty.

Does the universe exist if your consciousness is not perceiving it? This question will usually be met with “of course”, eye rolls and the like, instantly dismissing logic which suggests: the only irreducible certainty is that an experience is being perceived in the current moment. I am not solipsistic by inclination; it’s just interesting to me how quickly the idea is dismissed as obviously false and egocentric. But people are often irritated when an axiom is touched, and advances in knowledge are usually counter-intuitive. So what if all assumptions are false?

Gamer: We’re living in a simulation. I have proof.

Religioner: That’s ok. God created the world that made the simulation and put the Holy ghost in the machine.

God: By the way, something created me.

Random Thoughts

Never quite here and not quite there, words are understood depending on you.

Further from reality, from warmth and humanity, bliss will fester in your lap. Love and be loved; don’t judge and be judged. Anger sees anger; the foolish see a fool.

Economic necessity hinders countless people from fulfilling their potential. Having some chance is better than nothing; however a situation where you are hostage to the manipulations and barbarities of some murderous thug is a forcible attempt to suppress your humanity.

Music is a mystery. Nothing inspires and moves people as music.

Writing is focused thinking.

It’s rare to meet an adult non-dog who is full of joy in most circumstances.

Blah blah etc.:

 - Sell me this pen.

 - What type of pen do you need?

 - I’m not really looking right now.

 - I find it useful to have my own pen handy if I need to write something down. Do you have one?

 - No, not on me.

 - Would you like to try this?

Journal 2022-06-02

True play is a time to experiment with new things; a time when you have the most chance to find something exciting.

I have a rough album of songs that I think are really, really good. They’re making me dance. One thing at a time though.

Evil appropriates the language of divinity to destroy lives. Hard Rock appropriates shadow and transcends the world.

Podcast #12

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)

BY ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING

A Little Bit of Drama

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Journal 2022-05-31

I’m happy when I have interesting work because “work” then feels like play.

Players play characters in plays; musicians play music while playing to audiences. Writers work, however; and artists work at producing artworks. Work and play can be a fine balance.

Random Thoughts:

Words can make grunts of great cruelty or music of great beauty.

I watched the change from shy smiles to deep desires, until anger looked back.

The shopping aisles of perfect smiles draining the days in joyless fantasy.

Do you remember me? I don’t think you do because you never saw me. You saw another copy of a copy, a projection of your story. Now I am many stories, but only one is real.

A Lie

I spy with my little eye

Something beginning with a lie:

Thick bliss with a twist,

Jealously deceiving,

Judging and sneering;

Another sadistic statistic

bleeding fear on the journey

from womb to tomb,

dreaming of decay.

Journal 2022-05-30

Currently playing a track on repeat with my wooh-ooh vocals on top. It’s really good, it’s sexy and I want to dance with it, but I did say one thing at a time…

Random Thoughts:

Words are more real when they form from actions. The interesting parts of a scene are usually what happens around the words.

Beliefs are the biggest killers of people. Awareness to recognise beliefs as thoughts, and to change them when necessary, is vital to the world’s well-being.

Pride repeats errors. Love for your life and others is not pride.

Journal 2022-05-29

I read my words and find myself bursting out in laughter. I’m not sure if it’s because of quality or embarrassment.

Bring life to the page and the page to life.

The best way to spot typos and other errors is to read the words out loud. It slows you down and makes you articulate what has been written, rather than reading in your head what you thought you had written.

Random Thoughts

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that humanity will progress or fail based on the quality of information. Totalitarian regimes are the biggest abusers of the truth and the vilest perverters of humanity.

Wiberty – words in books can set you free.

“Smart” as a buzzword has become a bit corporate, so is far from its original meaning of savvy. I now prefer “hardcore”, but with nice comfy edges.

The train from Norwich to London journeys through four of England’s fifty-five cities.

I finally broke the two-minute mark for passing free-flowing water. Very proud of myself.

Journal 2022-05-21

During my wanderings, I’ve built abilities in various areas. I’m now focusing on each area in turn, starting with writing.

Random Thoughts:

From brain teasers to magic tricks, it’s usually a wrong assumption that hides the answer. Beliefs are full of assumptions, conscious and unconscious.

If you think you understand, you don’t. To think something is final, rather than part of a dynamic process, is to not begin to comprehend boundless possibilities.

I would like there to be a platform that is text-based and has character minimum limits for posts, so that content is substantial.

Those who supported habitual shams look ridiculous in the fullness of time.

Journal 2022-05-18

Mid-May and it is now the first day of the year when heating isn’t needed and my study door is open. The trees are in leaf, there is a freshness of cut grass in the air, and there are still spring flowers on green waysides. It’s this time of the year when I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else in the world.

Random Thoughts:

I write something that seems fine at the time. I read it later, groan, and make edits.

Reading to thinking to writing to speaking to writing to thinking to reading.

Cynical and low-quality public discourse in democratic countries has given succour to the autocrats of the world.

The reason that many observers thought Putin was just posturing with 200,000 troops on the Ukrainian border was they didn’t think he would be so stupid as to invade a country of 44 million people. By comparison, 2 million Nazis and Soviets invaded Poland in 1939. The soviets invaded Finland in 1939 with 750,000 troops and lost, suffering horrific casualties.

If a government (e.g. the US) had conclusive proof that aliens were visiting Earth, the information is unlikely to be disseminated for fear of panic and societal collapse. It would be suppressed, with the option to gradually acclimatise the public to that reality.

Random Thoughts

Any course of learning should be immediately available in a phone app, including school curriculum and university degree programmes.

I need to know. About everything.

I would like a feed of paragraphs from books. Drilling in expands to the chapter. It could have articles and blogs as well, but I’m mainly interested in dipping into books from groups I follow.

All people should have access to the sum total of human knowledge. Untwisted from deceivers, vested interests, and echo chambers.

Random Thoughts

Extremists fail and fall because the path requires balance.

It is inspiring that even when a person may be deeply flawed, they can still rise above all the frictions and misunderstandings of their day, to display moments of grace and greatness.

I love the tech revolution that has happened during my lifetime ❤️

Presumably the “GAMAM” tech companies don’t want to use the obvious anagram “GAMMA”, because of connotations with third-rate radioactive decay?

Random Thoughts

Generals at totalitarian rallies look like clowns.

Autocrats twist the rightful love of community into grotesque, violent delusion.

Contorted minds create hell on earth.

Non-fungible performances interest me. I’m thinking of issuing a few.

Kierkegaard’s romance with Regine Olsen would make a good dramatisation.

Ferocity and love as a combination captivates people, especially when sincere.

Journal 2022-05-07

It’s this order at the moment: Writing, Performance (Acting/Singing), Music, Art, Tech. I’m enjoying engaging in all these areas.

Viral videos and images are fun in small doses, but the drug can become addictive and unfulfilling. I prefer to read articles on news aggregator apps or Twitter, wary of the incentives and angles that people take, like a historian might be when viewing secondary sources.

TikTok is like aimlessly switching on the television and flicking channels. Instagram is an extension of reality tv. Facebook is a legacy platform, originally designed for sharing updates with friends and family, though messaging apps are probably better for this now.

YouTube is a great library of videos that should be actively searched rather than passively received, as my feed is now gunked up with spam. Twitter can be interesting to read, after filtering out the crappy posts and comments.

Random Thoughts

Invest where people who know what they are doing put their own capital. Or better still, invest in them. If you believe in what they are doing and you believe in them, then you have found the perfect combination.

Products and services improve when the providers are also keen users.

Trying to look older would mean experience is valued over the skin-deep.

Schools teach children to fit into a uniform.

Inflexibility often manifests in people who believe that whatever they think determines external reality.

Doing nothing isn’t preferable.

Random Thoughts

Notice. Are you able to describe the person you just talked to? Or the room you were just in? Or even the object in your hand? Do you notice what you are doing?

To be offended is to be wrong. Nasty behaviour thrown in your direction isn’t condoned, you might choose to respond, but why should their words actually harm you?

Many thirst in the desert of shiny things.

The accumulation effect of small moments can be enormous.

The challenge is to release what is within you, uncorrupted by falsity and lies.

Regardless of whether you think you are succeeding or failing, you must not ease up, in any respect, because events always happen.

For sure it is smart to learn from the experience of others, but the lessons can be more thoroughly learnt if you make the mistakes yourself.

Random Thoughts

I love that moment of bafflement when a person is looking at you and thinking “what the?” It usually ends in either awkward or full laughter.

If nervous or stressed about doing something, say to yourself “I’ll be dead soon” and do it anyway.

I think psychopaths don’t understand that threats have no effect on people who are truly pissed off. There is no room for fear when a person is angered, only destruction.

An empowered society creates and innovates. Empowered authoritarians corrupt and suffocate.

Random Thoughts

Work journals help elucidate what is happening and why.

An important question to ask one’s own thoughts is, “Who is talking?” Now you know, do you want to let that voice speak? A human does not have one identity, or set of impulses.

My logic reasons that I should be Agnostic, but belief in “God” is embedded in me, even though I can’t define what that word means.

Fall in love with doing. Love to do and you will have the energy to do it.

Comfort is for snoozing not moving.

Freedom provides the opportunity to create.

Curiosity initiates understanding and invention.

Random Thoughts

What do you have to say? Experience. Think and write. Then say, entertainingly.

Art happens when imagination and reality are one.

Difference has a cost and the highest return.

An algorithm, a method, is enormously powerful when perfectly applied.

I sincerely hope we are able to spread humanity rather than psychopathy onto other planets.

Journal 2022-04-09

Twitter can be an opportunity to read more.

If I write something, I can also read the text on video and include in the tweet. I could use hashtag logic such as #H1C0S1T1 to index the content of Human World - where H = Human World (Novel), C = Chapter, S = Section (Thread), T = Tweet.

Random Thoughts:

Bravery is a smile in extreme adversity. Faith is the understanding that this light will prevail.

If there is advanced alien life out there, they would probably have the technology to hide themselves from us and would probably be watching us. Whether they would want to intervene, I have no idea.

The main utility of social media platforms:

• Twitter: Sharing written thoughts (but corrupted by psyops farms, disinformation, and political tactic mongers).
Instagram: Following a person’s pictures and videos (ideal for celebrity culture and stalkers).
TikTok: Fun videos.
YouTube: All videos.
Facebook: ? Pass.

Random Thoughts

I used to grumble about wind turbines but now I’ve changed my mind. In my mind they’ve become monuments standing tall in all weather against humanity’s primitive past. It doesn’t matter how cloudy the skies, the arms will turn.

A debate is just gladiatorial spectacle, but a discussion should be a real-time exchange of thinking, with new ideas developed together as an outcome. Written bullet points provide more time for the receiver to think through the issues.

For me at least, the television has been replaced for news and entertainment by phone apps. The zombification factor is lower if there is more interaction and dynamic content.

Anyone who likes me has excellent taste.

Random Thoughts

I don’t mind monotonous chores when listening to podcasts or audiobooks. I press pause when I need to think about what I’m doing.

Nazism was obviously an evil period of German history, and after its utter defeat, one for which subsequent generations in Germany completely rejected. Whether the scales will fall suddenly from the eyes of people living in Fascist Russia, I don’t know.

I admire many Russian artists of prior periods, the list is too long to include here, but art is often a reaction to its society - where the human spirit is able to shine through the pain of its subjugation.

Fascism suffocates life under its fetid blanket of corruption and deception, producing only missiles and murderers.

To an English speaker, “Putin” sounds like “Poo tin” (a tin of poo). The pathetically unimaginative letter Z as a symbol looks like a swastika and reminds of naZi. Invading a sovereign country with tanks, murderers and rapists reminds the free world of the barbarity we thought had long disappeared from Europe.

Ireland speaks English, but if they want to dump it and speak only Irish, then good for them. If they don’t, then good for them too. But the thing about sovereign countries is that such decisions are up to the people who live there.

Being consigned to the poo tin of history means being forgotten about with great relief.

Soviet Union 2.0 is the crappiest sequel ever, where every word is a lie and every action is bad counterfeit copy.

I happened to walk past a couple of houses in Colchester that usually have the Union Jack flying atop a flagpole in their gardens. Both homes are now instead flying the Ukrainian flag.

Journal 2022-03-31

In One Billion Years is Part 3 of Human World.

Choose creative thoughts above the destructive triad of fear, anger, and malice. If you don’t positively direct your thoughts, your thoughts will negatively direct you.

Well directed thinking moves swiftly from problems to solutions.

Random Thoughts

It’s easy to stamp on a flower, yet some mistake this for greatness and spend their time destroying and threatening to destroy life’s creations. To the evolving world, this is deeply pathetic.

Psychopaths are psychopaths. Their admirers and enablers make them happen.

From a writing and performing perspective, professionally besuited politicians poorly deliver banal regurgitated lines, without due regard to substance, the power of metaphor, or any higher appeal to the inspirations of the human heart.

The sickly glare from the darkness is its most pernicious when pretending to be the light.

Your choice now of the inputs that influence you determines your outcomes.

Every day is a new creation.

Journal 2022-03-21

Schedule:

1. Recite my poetry to camera.
2. Perform podcast episodes on camera.
3. Read Human World novel to camera.
4. Perform my music on camera.

Random Thoughts:

I have had good quality sleep when I remember my dreams.

Fool’s gold is a mirage to the senses.

Smaug the Magnificent would covet the tacky gold gaudiness that gangsters and dictators encase themselves within.

It is a choice to see the way.

The past has passed. Now is a new time.

My allegiance is to the flourishing of life.

Random Thoughts

Dear Tech, please help end the twin abominations of disinformation and misinformation.

Input plus something equals output. Usually the inputs are easier to change.

As much as we would like to find some deeper nuance and subtlety, some people do behave like cartoonish one-dimensional characters.

Do Until Win (Pain, Learn, Adapt).

Liking yourself is a good choice.

Under the Door

Darkly you draw me,

The skulls smile and welcome me,

leaving marks in the light

hiding under the door.

Random Thoughts

When the fog clears you realise you are not where you were anymore.

Your love is shown in your grief; but grief will end, your love will not.

Emperors want to think they are respected. I think they are pathetic.

A country is not its government. Normal human beings do not resemble the golden-housed psychopaths that plunder and destroy their lives. But the human spirit can shine through the deceit and misery unleashed on the world. To life.

If aliens were to read the comments on Twitter, we wouldn’t be the species of choice to talk to.

Random Thoughts

Beauty in unexpected places is a special beauty.

Words can transcend the page or sink in the mud.

Dangerous and irresistible is a strange allure isn’t it...

Try to have fewer opinions. Few and deep is more helpful than many and superficial.

You don’t “work” when solving a crossword puzzle, or playing Wordle, or reading a book. Remunerated activities don’t always have to be “work” either.

Beauty (lyrics version)

Found by a gentle breeze,

deep smiles of shining beauty

bathed in slowly swirling

Shimmering infinity:

The warm gaze of a gentle glow,

The tender beauty in your eyes,

with chemicals fuming tentacles

across the astral skies.

Hiding under the door,

The tender beauty in your eyes;

Darkly as you draw me

across the astral skies.

Beauty

Found by a gentle breeze,

deep smiles of shining beauty

bathed in slowly swirling

Shimmering infinity - 

The tender beauty in your eyes,

The warm gaze of a gentle glow,

while face down in questions

talking to the wall;

chemicals fuming tentacles

across an empty sky.

Be

Words can trick and tease,

tantalise and please...

The meaning of life is:

to live

words silenced

with a kiss

Random Thoughts

So if a person had billions sloshing around in cash, they wouldn’t need to please investors with returns – they could buy-up and invest in challengers that have a chance of fundamentally delivering human needs in better ways than the big, bloated behemoths.

If you are taught to be an orc but you are an elf, then you won’t be considered to be a very good student. The industrialised education to work to retirement system is a training for orcs, with the creepiest orcs becoming the prison guards before they too are left to rot.

Humans are demons to most animals – yet sometimes show the capability of being angels to dogs.

I identify as a human being. Everything else is worn on top and ultimately removed.

Most of my ideas for the coming week arrive on a Sunday, when I’m not thinking about it.

Faces

Faces, faces everywhere,

But not you,

Not you, anywhere.

No touch of you,

No beautiful you;

Only me and the dark,

Haunted by echoes

Of a once beating heart.

Condemned to yearn,

But dead to you;

A figure in the corners,

Behind shadows,

Floating out of reach.

Silence Calls

Silence calls

the sound of nothing.

No any

No thing

No deathly

hum.

No ifs

But thank you.

You’re listening.

Broken Screen

Wounds of the mind

cling to the familiarity of sadness.

Drip-fed addictions

waste my skin away.

My words are dead.

Life is staring at a broken screen.

Journal 2022-01-27

It’s more productive to set myself an achievable target for the day, rather than to work x amount of hours, as it provides me with an incentive to focus and work efficiently. If I really enjoy every bit of the work, then I do it anyway and the structure is unnecessary.

Random Thoughts:

I watched a film in my head as I slept the other night. It was the trope of a lift (elevator) getting stuck, but this lift would get stuck on different floors and let different characters in, before moving on. The lift finally arrives after the characters play out their drama.

If listening to music, I usually dance when getting out of bed in the morning - often also around the house, and sometimes in the street (when no one is looking).

A true superpower is finding joy in most circumstances.

There must be plenty of data now to model outcome probabilities for different political policies, which could then be used as a tool to help make better informed decisions. Instead, stressed-out posturing politicians are supposed to have all the insight based on their current (often negative) incentives and whims.

Journal 2022-01-23

“Smart” seems to my buzzword of choice for this year. It’s very handy to be able to monitor and automate one’s own things and tasks. My concern is just that I don’t want other people to monitor and automate my things and tasks.

Random Thoughts:

Tap-ins count the same as long shots.

Helping others helps yourself feel better. What if nobody needs help? Help the stars by appreciating them. 

The early Christian church was persecuted by the worldly power of the time, only to become the persecutor once it had the power – a theme often repeated in history when the same mentality is merely changing hats. 

The big questions give the same answer: mystery. 

Very creative people play in their work.

Sunday for me is more a day for downloading than uploading.

Brainstorming is data scraping the mind. The best ideas flow from dreams.

Podcast #11

She Dwelt among the Untrodden Ways

BY WILLIAM WORDSWOTH

A Little Bit of Drama

She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Besides the spring of Dove,
A Maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love:

A violet by a mossy stone
Half hidden from the eye!
—Fair as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky.

She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and, oh,
The difference to me!

A Clock

The cold face of time

stalks the spinning room:

Clicks staring at the numbness,

Until they stop too.

The Oak

A once delicate acorn

now shades me;

the leaves breathing

and quivering

with the sun.

Greens and browns heave

the chilled tangles of roots and limbs

and spaces hidden in between.

A warm pulse thaws

the skeletal yearning,

until frozen sighs

return, again.

Fear

Unseen,

Fear appears on the pillow

and shakes the shadows;

Casting dreams

with desperate whispers

of days that cannot be.

Journal 2021-12-11

It is surprising how many times I am stopped in the street and asked for directions. Last night for instance, it was late, dark and raining; all the man had was a bit of paper with a printout of a map - no umbrella or hood - and he was literally miles away from where he needed to be. And today a woman was lost, again a long way away from where she wanted to go, and walking in completely the wrong direction. Am I lucky to have a phone with GPS? Or do many people not know about location maps on phones? Or are they afraid of being tracked?

Random Thoughts:

Turning off app tracking on your phone is a good idea.

The internet amplifies the positive and the negative, so at a personal level, the challenge is in applying a filter in the right place. Negativity, however, is usually the default setting and is therefore the easier option.

Fulfilment doesn’t show-off

I think I have a degree of mixed-handedness because I am stronger on the opposite side of the body to my right hand, that I use for writing, and tend to lead with my left side when lifting or pulling.

My blood tests show that my “good” HDL cholesterol is very high, my “bad” cholesterol and fatty triglycerides are very low. 

My brunch tends to be: soya milk, oats, linseeds, walnuts, raisins, cinnamon, dark chocolate – all in a bowl, mixed and microwaved; with an apple/pear and black coffee on the side.

It would indeed be epoch-making if human civilisation becomes self-sufficient on another planet.

Sexy = 2022.

Rugby 10s - Variation

A version of Rugby Union I would like to see is: 

• 1 point for a conversion/penalty/drop kick.
• 3 points for a try.
• 10 players – remove 5 forwards, so only 3 player scrums and 2 player line-outs. 
• 10 permanent substitutions allowed.
• 4 quarters of 20 minutes, with 10 minute intervals. 

Tries are more exciting than penalties, and should have a higher relative points value than the current 5 to 3. A result where a team can score fewer tries but win the match doesn’t seem right to me.

8 player scrums are the worst, most boring part of the current game, taking ages to set and reset.

The players are currently big and chunky in order to smash their way through a congested pitch of tacklers. More space means an emphasis on speed, stamina, and skill.

More intervals and more substitutes means that a higher level of intensity can be maintained for the spectators.

Cricket has been experimenting with various formats; other sports could experiment too.

Journal 2021-12-02

Children reveal my ignorance with all the why, why, why questions – with every answer needing a further explanation of something I’ve taken for granted, until I get stuck. It would be much easier to say “because I said so” or “God made it that way”, like in the good old medieval days.

Random Thoughts: 

The first film I can remember watching at the cinema was Raiders of the Lost Ark, which I found very exciting and scary! I can remember watching Star Wars for the first time on tv and struggling to read the big disappearing words before they scrolled up and away.

According to a health checkup, I am 196cm wearing shoes, 92kgs with clothes; and have very low risk of heart disease.

I’m a strict vegetarian, but a non-strict vegan.

Fun dystopian fact: It’s possible for a large company to have zero employees and all processes automated. Most CEOs seem to act as talking algorithms, so they should get economically optimised first.

Reading improves writing; writing improves speaking.

I Am

I am: 

I feel; 

I touch; 

I hear; 

I see. 

I say 

I want. 

I try; 

I hurt; 

I fear. 

I hope. 

I dream. 

I love. 

I wonder. 

I am

Journal 2021-11-25

My story so far is partly one of failing at everything, but doing just about enough at the last moment to scrape over the line. As the years ticked by, I eventually crawled a fair way. I have no regrets or pride, just bemusement.

Random Thoughts:

It is satisfying to warm up in front of a fire after numbing coldness.

Why don’t people read audiobooks on camera with autocue? Listening is great, but it would be nice to have an option to see the complete performance. Reading as a spectacle used to be a thing, e.g. Charles Dickens and his grand tours.

DIY teaches: know thy tools.

I love and hate ambiguity.

[Insert Here] is overrated.

Journal 2021-11-13

To be open with yourself and the world, and not concerned with how that is perceived, is freedom from a prison of mental constructions; however there is a lack of empathy, poetry and charm in being blunt with people, or saying anything that comes to mind. The happier circumstance is to connect beyond words.

Random Thoughts:

AI assistants combined with augmented/virtual reality will transform human experience. Artists could create paintings digitally and 3D print the paintings into the physical world, automating the textured brushstrokes with the help of AI. Exact textured cloning of existing masterpiece paintings would be available as home printouts.

I’ve met some real idiots in my time, most of whom were in the mirror.

Journal 2021-11-12

I’m writing the flow of what comes into the imagination, without constraints or thinking too hard about how its coherence and construction. After a while of doing this each day, it amounts to a body of work I can then review, edit and refine. I’m hoping to finish a first draft by the end of this month.

Random Thoughts:

I like to sit in front of a fire and read/write.

RAW – Read And Write. 

There is always a way, even though you don’t see it at the moment. Turn around and look again.

I’ve noticed that the last few problems I’ve had to deal with have resulted in upgrades to skills, or gaining knowledge I didn’t have before.

Journal 2021-11-11

My engine is fuelled by plants, which means the system is cleaned, rather than clogged up with rotting flesh.

There is an irony when people dictate the morality of others, while actively supporting the meat trade. The single biggest thing that most people can do to make a positive change in the world is to stop eating animals, so as to help end the mechanised suffering we perpetrate on other creatures and the planet.

Journal 2021-11-07

Fortunate people often come up with stories and beliefs that justify their own lofty positions in life, looking down on the suffering they could otherwise do something about.

If you have a lot of surplus money, it is your responsibility to spend it well, otherwise you are squandering those resources and other people’s lives. Andrew Carnegie’s quote from a prior era is a bit harsh, but has some truth to it: “The man who dies rich, dies disgraced.”

As Carnegie discovered, there can be a lot of personal fulfilment in spending well.

Random Thoughts: 

It is liberating to say what you think and feel, not beholden to what other people say you should think and feel – or to what you think they want to hear.

I wasn’t at my best in an institutionalised setting.

Journal 2021-11-04

Experience something.

Initial feeling happens.

Mind overrides and reasons a recommended alternative.

Go back and revisit the feeling.

What is the feeling telling you?

There is probably more evaluation in that feeling than the clumsy thought cogs, which are usually powered by fear.

Random Thoughts:

What is the definition of someone who believes that religious texts were written by fallible men, not God – but who has a belief in a transcendent divinity that inspires the human heart?

Hobbies include: staring at my phone.

Journal 2021-11-03

Wanting to know how everything works can be exhausting, distracting, and fascinating.

Random Thoughts:

Live today before you decay.

If you find meaning in your job then working is living.

10,000 years ago or so, humans had only wooden and stone tools; and were foraging or hunting each day like any other creature on this planet.

Humans first navigated the globe about 1,000 years ago, with the Vikings probably the first to cross the Atlantic in either direction, reaching Newfoundland for certain in 1021 AD.

We are currently experiencing the non-naissance period of the arts.

A painting is not the brushstrokes.

Flies

We pray under crosses, owned by Man

And grovel to bosses, slaves to a plan;

Trapped in a web, of their endless lies,

To be spun from a thread, and eaten like flies.

Hamlet - modern adaptation

[Jack knocks on the door].
JOHN: Who is it?
JACK: The question is, my friend: is it better to be alive or dead?
JOHN: Is it nobler to suffer what luck throws at you, or to fight against all those troubles and end them?
JACK: To die is to sleep – a sleep that ends all the heartache and shocks that life gives us.
JOHN: That’s an achievement I wish for. To die, to sleep – to sleep … maybe to dream. Ah! But there’s the catch! In death’s sleep who knows what kind of dreams might come, when we go there. It must make us pause. This is the tragedy that stretches out our sufferings for so long!
JACK: Who would put up with all life’s countless humiliations and abuses – the unfairness and injustice – when you could simply pick up the knife and call it quits?
[A knife is slid on the ground under the cubicle door].
JACK: Who would choose to grunt and sweat through an exhausting life?
JOHN: Unless they were afraid of something after death – the undiscovered country from which no visitor returns – that gives no answers and makes us stick to the evils we know, rather than rush off to find other ones we don’t? Fear of death makes us all cowards, and our natural impulse for action is lost in thought.
[John gets up and opens the cubicle door. No one is there].

Journal 2021-10-29

To do priority list:

1. Finish the novel.
2. Finish developing the App prototype (MVP).
3. New trading algorithms released.
4. Film the screenplays and other performances.
5. Claim my free pensioner’s bus pass.

All part of a 3 year plan (with the exception of point 5).

Random Thoughts:

I’m now less keen on the phrase “so meta”.

Journal 2021-10-23

Thoughts can cause distortions and distress. Accumulated thoughts can cause a state of mind that seems impossible to escape.

The power that things and situations have over you disappears with the absence of thought.

You can’t think your way out of thinking.

To try is to think. To be is to live.

Journal 2021-10-16

The seven standalone short stories are: The Outer View, Night Fire, All The World’s A Stage, Human World, How I Became Prime Minister, Doomsday 1066, The Viewer. A combined version ties them together as a novel.

Each of the seven short stories have an adapted screen time of about 45 minutes. And they are all connected. The first two could be parts of the same story.

Journal 2021-10-13

I’ve gone through phases of mainly focusing on, in turn: music, songwriting, singing, and artworks. The next up is writing, then performing what I have written. None of the activities are switched-off. It’s just I start to feel pulled more in a different direction.

Random Thoughts:

I’m winning at being slow.

Journal 2021-10-12

Skills and knowledge can now be learnt at any point in life because the resources are openly accessible. What is truly valuable is a learning that inspires the imagination to create rather than repeat.

Random Thoughts:

Artists observe. Intense feelings of empathy are welcome but lead only to misery if overwhelming.

I don’t think life is about the number of points scored, or marks totalled on both sides of a ledger.

Reliving memories of things going wrong can cause worry when presented with a similar situation. It is better to have learned, so the replay isn’t necessary.

Journal 2021-10-11

Why do answerers never say why “that’s a great question” is so great? I also would like to know why other questions aren’t that marvellous, with details of the grade achieved, percentile scored, and marks out of ten for effort ;)

Journal 2021-10-10

Sunday is my favourite day of the week, but I wouldn’t want every day to be Sunday.

Saturday is when I can work a full day on what interests me most. I plan no work on a Sunday, but ironically this can be my most productive day because it’s usually when the best thoughts and feelings occur.

Random Thoughts:

Less than one workout per week generally sees a deterioration in fitness or strength. Once a week is the minimum to maintain athleticism in the short-term; twice has marginal improvements; three to four times sees consistent gains; more than four has diminishing benefits.

In One Billion Years

Humans came along for the ride at the halfway point between life beginning on earth, about 4 billion years ago, and life ending in another 4 billion years, with the melting of the planet’s surface under an intensifying sun. Science fiction and other human projections are typically set in the myopic near future of at most a few thousand years – well how about an amount that is actually noticeable in the life of earth, say in one billion years?

Links

I’m at ReallyBobster on the main platforms. The complete list of my links is here: Links

Journal 2021-10-07

Sonnet 18 sounds great when repeated in a vocal melody with Pachelbel's Canon in D Major.

Random Thoughts:

It is more fulfilling to create than consume.

Journal 2021-10-01

Tip: The French in particular love it if, when visiting their country, you speak English at them and expect to be understood. Try also repeating yourself more slowly and loudly, as they might not have heard the first time.

Random Thoughts:

Add depth to 2D habits.

Who you choose to spend your time with is the most important decision you can make.

Getting what you want can be the worst thing ever to happen to you. Not getting what you want can be the best thing ever to happen to you. And vice versa.

Journal 2021-09-30

I could perform my music, poems and monologues on open mics – and film it if I want to. Sounds good to me, as live audiences always lift up the energy.

Random Thoughts:

Powering down before the upload completes would be a pity.

Journal 2021-09-26

Books, pen, pencil, paintings, guitar, piano, tea, coffee, flowers, trees, animals, peace, love.

Writing 50 threads within a theme, each comprising 1,000 words.

Random Thoughts:

The tender beauty in your eyes is my breathing.

Experienced reality is an interpretation of the senses.

Acting is imagination.

Journal 2021-09-25

I really should be doing ALBOD on camera. So far though, better something than nothing. 

Random Thoughts:

An over-focus on moving parts blurs the emergent meaning.

Cruelty, callousness, delusion, suffering. Love, kindness, truth, joy.

Increase leverage by delegation. Delegate to someone who is better at the task than you.

Podcast #10: Episode 2

POEMS

BY ROBERT WALKER

A Little Bit of Drama

DAWN
Dead shadows dance in the night
yearning for the dawn.
Cold and forgotten walking scars,
drained by decay,
wasted by time,
stretch out,
hungered and blurred,
to a spark ignited,
climbing,
rising from the ground.
From the last depths,
rays of hope entwine in the sky,
kissing the hills;
breathing new life
and wonders layered in light.
Naked with joy, a new day, a new world is born.

THE OUTER VIEW
Beneath a mountain of tedium,
In a dull ugly system,
In an empty ocean of shadows,
Is a silhouette of pure fire heat
Drifting in the dark.
All I wanted was the wind;
The wind murmured with anticipation,
The grass turned to icy grey,
A fine mist fell,
And with the mist came my sorrow
Cooling my body
With her thousand kisses,
Leaving me there.
I am surrounded by ice crystals
floating down through silence
into soft glowing snow.
The only sound is the pulse of my breathing.
As the sun sleeps,
how many hearts are dreaming,
when the world stands still.