It Can’t Be You

You entered, in my mind, 

so long ago, so long ago - 

Even though you were a passing shadow 

unlikely for me to see again. 

Sometimes I’d see you in my mind: 

I’d think of what you were doing, 

what you were seeing, 

what you were imagining - 

You were an unnamed figure 

floating through my mind. 

 

I saw you again the other day 

In an unexpected place. 

You answered all my questions, 

But how can I feel like this? 

It can’t be you… 

It can’t be you… 

It can’t be you. 

 

How can this happen, here and now? 

Before I’ve even started, 

I know how far I’ve got to go… 

And each day is harder than the one before 

because I can’t reach you. 

 

I saw you again the other day 

In an unexpected place. 

You answered all my questions,  

But how can I feel like this? 

It can’t be you… 

It can’t be you… 

It can’t be you. 

 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/C3sunytu2uw

Another Thing Coming

Through the window I could see 

a glimmering gaze waiting for me - 

A choice, in the noise: 

Light from afar or delight at the bar. 

One more day mind glazed; 

One more day in the shade; 

One more day of empty glasses; 

One more day for second chances - 

Fear stained memories in a cage, 

forgotten feelings in a haze, 

cold and shrill and numbing: 

Another thing coming… 

So time for home, time for bed, 

too many words have been said; 

Cold relief, short and brief, 

turning tables, writing labels, 

making time to switch (which is which?) 

One more day mind glazed; 

One more day in the shade; 

One more day of empty glasses; 

One more day for second chances - 

Fear stained memories in a cage, 

forgotten feelings in a haze, 

cold and shrill and numbing: 

Another thing coming… 

Now you’ve set me up 

in the middle of some good luck, 

with the myth: 

The iron gate of an altered state - 

Myself withheld from all my sins, 

falling down on the sharpened ground. 

The night-time cure, the magic mixture, the mystery - 

Your special power shimmers in a night-shine, 

a potion of lost emotion reflecting 

a fantasy in my head. 

One more day mind glazed; 

One more day in the shade; 

One more day of empty glasses; 

One more day for second chances - 

Fear stained memories in a cage, 

forgotten feelings in a haze, 

cold and shrill and numbing: 

Another thing coming… 

 

Words and (some) Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/Gu2y1suaZWU

A Song Within

Battles closing minds at war;

Fights the same, just as before.

Raging struggles in your way, 

surviving another day of artificial, unsubstantial

Fears full of the end.

A song within is for display -

Play it now, play it loud, play it soft;

But most of all: 

Love it all.

“Them and us, us and them” makes it easy to condemn - 

Red in tooth and claw does not have to be the law;

Anger bathed in fear only makes another tear.

Take another step, the next step, for all.

A song within is for display -

Play it now, play it loud, play it soft;

But most of all: 

Love it all.

Listen to the whisper, quiet and small: 

Light belongs to all -

But most of all:

Love it all.

 

Words and Music by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/NyXsRooziNg

Blah De Blah

Tedium… 

Tedious conversation… 

Boring repeats, heard it all before:

Blah de blah, boring blah blah,

“How dare you, what about me?”

Blah blah, blah de blah blah,

boring, blah blah blah.

The same look in the eyes, the same scripted replies:

“I’m better than, I’m more than” - comparison of facades.

Seeking, needing the outrage;

fanning the flames, finding someone to blame.

Taught behaviour, taught script:

“Look at me! Aren’t I special. Give me a biscuit!”

“My happy versus your happy;”

“Aren’t I special because I conform.”

(Spoon fed some rules.)

Blah de blah, boring blah blah,

“How dare you, what about me?”

Blah blah blah, blah de blah blah,

boring, blah blah blah.

“Everybody must have the same opinion” - 

Nobody knows everything, even about one thing:

The more I see the less I know; the more I see the more I feel.

Explanations unfold, change colour and disappear into space -

The enormity and hugeness of limitless space…

Blah de blah, boring blah blah,

“How dare you, what about me?”

Blah blah, blah de blah blah,

boring, blah blah blah.

No need to be imprisoned by a side, by a tribe - 

Each day is different, rules are for machines.

Exceptions are for you.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

 

Words by Robert Walker

https://youtu.be/ghBak0m_M_c

Journal 2022-07-17

(Writer, songwriter), (actor, singer), (art, innovation).

I have done, am doing, and will do, all this.

Writer is the first and current focus.

Acting and innovation are broad categories, comprising different activities.

Keep moving, wibble wobble rhubarb etc.

Random Thoughts

The goal with current gaps and an action plan. Has anyone done this analysis for humanity? (I mean one that is based on universal flourishing and kindness, not written by useful idiots and implemented by empowered psychopaths.)

Energy builds up internally through relentless thinking and wants to be released.

Working is more fulfilling than chilling.

Reduce work by doing it.

I am a writer. I perform for necessity or fun.

Summarise rather than simplify.

Right now, everything is probably fine. There will be challenges, and preparation for them is a good idea - but whatever they may be, this exact moment is probably fine.

Maybe a school exam question in the future: To what extent was the series of US imbecilic Presidents and broken political system responsible for the reaffirmation of totalitarianism in non-Western countries? Was this causally connected to the emergence of the Internet and social media?

Marcus Aurelius was succeeded by Commodus. As a metaphor, even philosopher kings beget tyranny.

In the totalitarian mindset, facts are attacked and suppressed if they do not conform to belief stories.

Journal 2022-07-12

Either use apps or read books of jokes, facts, quotes and vocabulary. Collated paragraphs of knowledge primers would be beneficial to learning as well.

Random Thoughts:

The past can offer lessons and warnings, but should not determine the quality of today nor the direction of the future.

These words are words. Your thoughts determine the effect on you, good or bad.

Anything great is always achieved outside of society’s expectations.

It is compassionate to be happy.

Be someone’s smile.

Journal 2022-07-09

I’m absolutely happy with the reservoirs of knowledge and culture that my phone makes available to me, including:

• Monthly subscriptions to Kindle, Audible, Spotify/Apple Music. 
• Follows of blogs, micro-blogs, video playlists and podcasts (with an option to support).

The one missing is a platform that provides the availability of any course of learning to everyone.

Random Thoughts:

Certainty is limited. Uncertainty is unbounded infinite possibility.

There was a brief interlude in the 1950s to 1990s when delusion and unfairness started to diminish. The desire for fairness has continued in this century, but people have become far more delusional and crazed, making fair outcomes less likely and opening the door to the truly vile forces that have wreaked misery through so much of history.

Are you a societal meme?

I am impossible to offend. “You’re a blancmange!” they say. Ok, well you have your opinions, and I’ll have mine.

Everyone you meet and everyone who is affected by you needs you not to be a twat.

JBK

I’m not interested in your hair, eye or skin colour. I don’t care what type of person you fancy. I don’t care what you identify as or belief system you follow. Just be kind.

Random Thoughts

There have been plenty of middle management monsters running countries in history - they are psychotic narcissists who copy from a playbook given to them and repeat the past.

Can creativity thrive under authoritarian conditions, aided by artificial intelligence? Can slaves be compelled and threatened to create? Can they create if they are constantly lied to and manipulated, rather than inspired? The correlation to date has been with freedom.

If consciousness can be programmed to live in a heavenly state of bliss, why bother creating simulations? If reality can be anything, then why this one?

People who put percentage probabilities on the origins and nature of existence have a myopic view of the probability tree.

Exploring was great, but I am now about to focus. I probably won’t be updating my word count here, for a while.

Random Thoughts

On a hot day, humans can outrun horses over long distances.

Thoughts determine your wellbeing. Fluffy thoughts are lovely; however if they are based on some personal deceit, they will turn sour. Negative thoughts destroy you and everything you experience. Positive thoughts based on what is true is the optimal state of being.

I enjoy sentences where different interpretations are all true. The sentence is the fact, but the meaning is multiple. The ultimate sentence is when, on some higher level, all the seemingly contradictory explanations harmonise as one great beauty.

Does the universe exist if your consciousness is not perceiving it? This question will usually be met with “of course”, eye rolls and the like, instantly dismissing logic which suggests: the only irreducible certainty is that an experience is being perceived in the current moment. I am not solipsistic by inclination; it’s just interesting to me how quickly the idea is dismissed as obviously false and egocentric. But people are often irritated when an axiom is touched, and advances in knowledge are usually counter-intuitive. So what if all assumptions are false?

Gamer: We’re living in a simulation. I have proof.

Religioner: That’s ok. God created the world that made the simulation and put the Holy ghost in the machine.

God: By the way, something created me.

Jack (in HW: HIBPM)

You don’t play the ball. You kick the bastard in the balls. Or better still, get someone else to do it.

…

I’m off to fart my way around a golf course with fat balding men.

…

Walks past pictures of PMs … “Bitch, bitch, bitch – see you later, bitches.”

Random Thoughts

Never quite here and not quite there, words are understood depending on you.

Further from reality, from warmth and humanity, bliss will fester in your lap. Love and be loved; don’t judge and be judged. Anger sees anger; the foolish see a fool.

Economic necessity hinders countless people from fulfilling their potential. Having some chance is better than nothing; however a situation where you are hostage to the manipulations and barbarities of some murderous thug is a forcible attempt to suppress your humanity.

Music is a mystery. Nothing inspires and moves people as music.

Writing is focused thinking.

It’s rare to meet an adult non-dog who is full of joy in most circumstances.

Blah blah etc.:

 - Sell me this pen.

 - What type of pen do you need?

 - I’m not really looking right now.

 - I find it useful to have my own pen handy if I need to write something down. Do you have one?

 - No, not on me.

 - Would you like to try this?

Journal 2022-06-02

True play is a time to experiment with new things; a time when you have the most chance to find something exciting.

I have a rough album of songs that I think are really, really good. They’re making me dance. One thing at a time though.

Evil appropriates the language of divinity to destroy lives. Hard Rock appropriates shadow and transcends the world.

Podcast #12

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)

BY ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING

A Little Bit of Drama

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Journal 2022-05-31

I’m happy when I have interesting work because “work” then feels like play.

Players play characters in plays; musicians play music while playing to audiences. Writers work, however; and artists work at producing artworks. Work and play can be a fine balance.

Random Thoughts:

Words can make grunts of great cruelty or music of great beauty.

I watched the change from shy smiles to deep desires, until anger looked back.

The shopping aisles of perfect smiles draining the days in joyless fantasy.

Do you remember me? I don’t think you do because you never saw me. You saw another copy of a copy, a projection of your story. Now I am many stories, but only one is real.

A Lie

I spy with my little eye

Something beginning with a lie:

Thick bliss with a twist,

Jealously deceiving,

Judging and sneering;

Another sadistic statistic

bleeding fear on the journey

from womb to tomb,

dreaming of decay.

Journal 2022-05-30

Currently playing a track on repeat with my wooh-ooh vocals on top. It’s really good, it’s sexy and I want to dance with it, but I did say one thing at a time…

Random Thoughts:

Words are more real when they form from actions. The interesting parts of a scene are usually what happens around the words.

Beliefs are the biggest killers of people. Awareness to recognise beliefs as thoughts, and to change them when necessary, is vital to the world’s well-being.

Pride repeats errors. Love for your life and others is not pride.

Journal 2022-05-29

I read my words and find myself bursting out in laughter. I’m not sure if it’s because of quality or embarrassment.

Bring life to the page and the page to life.

The best way to spot typos and other errors is to read the words out loud. It slows you down and makes you articulate what has been written, rather than reading in your head what you thought you had written.

Random Thoughts

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that humanity will progress or fail based on the quality of information. Totalitarian regimes are the biggest abusers of the truth and the vilest perverters of humanity.

Wiberty – words in books can set you free.

“Smart” as a buzzword has become a bit corporate, so is far from its original meaning of savvy. I now prefer “hardcore”, but with nice comfy edges.

The train from Norwich to London journeys through four of England’s fifty-five cities.

I finally broke the two-minute mark for passing free-flowing water. Very proud of myself.