I Am

I am: 

I feel; 

I touch; 

I hear; 

I see. 

I say 

I want. 

I try; 

I hurt; 

I fear. 

I hope. 

I dream. 

I love. 

I wonder. 

I am

Journal 2021-11-25

My story so far is partly one of failing at everything, but doing just about enough at the last moment to scrape over the line. As the years ticked by, I eventually crawled a fair way. I have no regrets or pride, just bemusement.

Random Thoughts:

It is satisfying to warm up in front of a fire after numbing coldness.

Why don’t people read audiobooks on camera with autocue? Listening is great, but it would be nice to have an option to see the complete performance. Reading as a spectacle used to be a thing, e.g. Charles Dickens and his grand tours.

DIY teaches: know thy tools.

I love and hate ambiguity.

[Insert Here] is overrated.

Journal 2021-11-13

To be open with yourself and the world, and not concerned with how that is perceived, is freedom from a prison of mental constructions; however there is a lack of empathy, poetry and charm in being blunt with people, or saying anything that comes to mind. The happier circumstance is to connect beyond words.

Random Thoughts:

AI assistants combined with augmented/virtual reality will transform human experience. Artists could create paintings digitally and 3D print the paintings into the physical world, automating the textured brushstrokes with the help of AI. Exact textured cloning of existing masterpiece paintings would be available as home printouts.

I’ve met some real idiots in my time, most of whom were in the mirror.

Journal 2021-11-12

I’m writing the flow of what comes into the imagination, without constraints or thinking too hard about how its coherence and construction. After a while of doing this each day, it amounts to a body of work I can then review, edit and refine. I’m hoping to finish a first draft by the end of this month.

Random Thoughts:

I like to sit in front of a fire and read/write.

RAW – Read And Write. 

There is always a way, even though you don’t see it at the moment. Turn around and look again.

I’ve noticed that the last few problems I’ve had to deal with have resulted in upgrades to skills, or gaining knowledge I didn’t have before.

Journal 2021-11-11

My engine is fuelled by plants, which means the system is cleaned, rather than clogged up with rotting flesh.

There is an irony when people dictate the morality of others, while actively supporting the meat trade. The single biggest thing that most people can do to make a positive change in the world is to stop eating animals, so as to help end the mechanised suffering we perpetrate on other creatures and the planet.

Journal 2021-11-07

Fortunate people often come up with stories and beliefs that justify their own lofty positions in life, looking down on the suffering they could otherwise do something about.

If you have a lot of surplus money, it is your responsibility to spend it well, otherwise you are squandering those resources and other people’s lives. Andrew Carnegie’s quote from a prior era is a bit harsh, but has some truth to it: “The man who dies rich, dies disgraced.”

As Carnegie discovered, there can be a lot of personal fulfilment in spending well.

Random Thoughts: 

It is liberating to say what you think and feel, not beholden to what other people say you should think and feel – or to what you think they want to hear.

I wasn’t at my best in an institutionalised setting.

Journal 2021-11-04

Experience something.

Initial feeling happens.

Mind overrides and reasons a recommended alternative.

Go back and revisit the feeling.

What is the feeling telling you?

There is probably more evaluation in that feeling than the clumsy thought cogs, which are usually powered by fear.

Random Thoughts:

What is the definition of someone who believes that religious texts were written by fallible men, not God – but who has a belief in a transcendent divinity that inspires the human heart?

Hobbies include: staring at my phone.

Journal 2021-11-03

Wanting to know how everything works can be exhausting, distracting, and fascinating.

Random Thoughts:

Live today before you decay.

If you find meaning in your job then working is living.

10,000 years ago or so, humans had only wooden and stone tools; and were foraging or hunting each day like any other creature on this planet.

Humans first navigated the globe about 1,000 years ago, with the Vikings probably the first to cross the Atlantic in either direction, reaching Newfoundland for certain in 1021 AD.

We are currently experiencing the non-naissance period of the arts.

A painting is not the brushstrokes.