Random Thoughts

Over the years I have put in 10,000 hours of gazing out of the window.

My mind meandered off path again and I wrote a comedy script about a day in the life of a very interesting accountant.

Ulysses can be admired for its cleverness; and avoided if sensitive to pretentiousness or boredom.

Edgar Alan Poe’s C. Auguste Dupin (the deducing gentleman detective, residing with his storytelling friend at 33 Rue Dunôt) seems like an early version of Sherlock Holmes before Arthur Conan Doyle adapted the idea to London.

Was Mr. Bounderby an influence for the “Four Yorkshiremen” sketch?

Technology has been enabling upgrades to the abilities of my mind; for instance, reading is now more convenient because, wherever I happen to be, the world’s library is immediately accessible from my phone – and has become a healthy, as well as enjoyable, addiction for me.

Earthian: from Earth. Moonian: from Earth’s moon. Martian: from Mars. Solarian: inhabitant of Space City 1.

I stopped using the word “couple” because I’ve had misunderstandings in the past where people thought the word means “several” and not its actual meaning of “two”. “Substituted X for Y” is another one that causes confusion because, using football as the analogy, it tends to be wrongly thought that X is substituted and replaced by Y.

The time for shaking hands is after fearlessly giving complete focus to the performance.

Everything changes. Solid ground evaporates beneath sedentary feet.

To do anything interesting you must disassociate from the current expectations.

2023

I can firmly state, without any equivocation, that I am very stupid.

Anyway, these are my creativity projects for the new year:

1. Publish novel: Human World.
2. Film me reading the novel.
3. Film me talking about the novel.
4. Record and release new music.
5. Film music videos.
6. Film live music performances.
7. Update Human World screenplay.

Random Thoughts

The UK, USA and Technology have given me every opportunity in life. It is my responsibility – and every decent person’s – to be vigilant to the spoilt, cowardly, self-indulgent behaviour and downright insanity that has corroded humanity’s chance to escape the cruel despotism of the past.

I long for the day when we no longer need to use oil and gas: when we no longer have to send capital to abhorrent regimes that spread misery in the world.

I greatly respect people who are able to do stuff and work hard doing it. I have very little respect for the behaviour of people who copy and repeat banalities.

A massive personal yacht is a crowning example of gross douchebaggery; a total misuse of time and money to massage the ridiculous ego of its owner.

High lawyer fees preserve the interests of big corporates and the very wealthy to bully the less advantaged. It would be a big breakthrough if lawyers could be mostly automated – the law, after all, is by its nature rules-based and should be ripe terrain for AI. Malicious lawsuits could be dismissed quickly and the truly needful would have proper protection and recourse to justice.

Avoid asking leading questions where yes and no answers are sufficient – because a person can get into the habit of nodding and shaking their head without using the stuff inside.

It would be more user-friendly to have premium content – such as films, games, podcasts, and articles – available on grouped subscription packages, like the current comprehensive services for music and books, rather than subscribing to lots of different providers and platforms.

Blinkist is great for providing summaries of the main points in nonfiction books. It’s better to blink it than not read the book at all.

When catching up with my phone, notifications are checked first, then messages, then emails, then widgets.

Journal 2022-11-29

A bed demon under my pillow forces my eyelids open at night so that I can doomscroll on Twitter.

Problem solved? The thing that was bothering you has come and gone like everything else. What’s next on the worry list? Maybe while you’re thinking like this, you could add a few more items – and for every one that goes away you could add three more. Or don’t. Most problems disappear when the thinking about them stops.

What happens when you get everything you think you wanted? Unless you change with the changing circumstance, you will still be in the same mode of lacking, and will still thirst for more.

The universe is both beautiful and horrific. From some higher level, where things don’t matter so much, it might all be viewed as a single magnificently interesting thread of life.

Late last night in the street, a blue illuminated face peered down into the glow and said, “Don’t worry Charlie, whatever’s gonna happen, gonna happen.” Wise words there in the darkness.

Self-discipline is a necessary virtue for any progress. A useful question to ask oneself is: what am I learning?

Live this moment with inner quality.

Being viewed as attractive is attractive. A woman turned on is a turn on.

Random Thoughts

A person usually believes that 100% of everything they think to be true is actually true. Their mind has arrived at a conclusion, so how can their mind think it to be anything else? I think that even the most perspicacious of people have a much lower strike rate than 100%. (Socrates was making a similar point a while ago.)

Well-meaning people sometimes spread specious arguments they think are entirely logical because they have made basic assumptions that lack real understanding.

Most of history anywhere is awful. An awareness of what went wrong is necessary to move forward and build something better.

People who can do stuff tend to like doing stuff.

Churchill’s statue in Parliament Square represents a British defiance of tyranny; of course the tyrannous would target it.

Podcast #13

A Poison Tree & Suicide in the Trenches

BY WILLIAM BLAKE, SIEGFRIED SASSOON

A Little Bit of Drama

“A Poison Tree” by William Blake 

I was angry with my friend; 

I told my wrath, my wrath did end. 

I was angry with my foe: 

I told it not, my wrath did grow.

 

And I watered it in fears, 

Night and morning with my tears: 

And I sunned it with smiles, 

And with soft deceitful wiles. 

 

And it grew both day and night. 

Till it bore an apple bright. 

And my foe beheld it shine, 

And he knew that it was mine.

And into my garden stole, 

When the night had veiled the pole; 

In the morning glad I see; 

My foe outstretched beneath the tree. 

 

….. 

“Suicide in the Trenches” by Siegfried Sassoon 

I knew a simple soldier boy 

Who grinned at life in empty joy, 

Slept soundly through the lonesome dark, 

And whistled early with the lark. 

 

In winter trenches, cowed and glum, 

With crumps and lice and lack of rum, 

He put a bullet through his brain. 

No one spoke of him again. 

 

You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye 

Who cheer when soldier lads march by, 

Sneak home and pray you'll never know 

The hell where youth and laughter go. 

Diagnosis

I do not subscribe to the view that people who do terrible things believe their actions are necessary for a greater good. I think many such people go out of their way to inflict misery and take a perverse pleasure in their power to do so. We often have to endure a high concentration of these people in high places because they have had a lifelong obsession with power and the unyielding desire to wield it over others, with no moral qualms about destroying anyone deemed a threat to their manipulations.

It is fashionable to try to explain wickedness as the result of a series of rational decisions based on a certain set of beliefs, such as by those who perpetrate atrocities in the name of religion, or rulers who commit genocide and other horrors – and in a way it is heartwarming that proponents do not understand the nature of evil or what it does; but they should realise that the subjects of their empathy, underneath often charming facades, think of them as weak dupes to be taken advantage of and abused.

To describe evil-inclined people as ill, and that some were tragically born with a high susceptibility to the disease, is nearer to the truth.

Journal 2022-11-16

I’ve been working as a software engineer with domain knowledge in finance and trading. I can find it interesting, especially when I create something useful.

My main creative, potentially commercial, outlets are: writing, acting, singing, songwriting.

Visual art is important also as a personal outlet.

My main interest overall is lifelong learning.

Putinland Disease

I have no way of knowing what people really think in Russia; but I would take a speculative guess and say something like:

• 10% are fascist cheerleaders;
• 20% are broadly supportive of Putinland because they want to believe the Kremlin’s lies;
• 60% want to get on with life and be left alone;
• 9.99% are directly opposed to the regime, but are cowed because of the consequences;
• 0.01% are actively opposed.

As ever, really it is the majority of people in the middle who hold the power, though they often don’t realise it.

Journal 2022-11-11

Any sequence of words should aspire to be a poetic turn of phrase.

I am currently reading ten books, dipping into each depending on mood.

I usually prefer to read novels while listening to the partner audiobooks—because this slows me down, helping me to observe and imagine more; and includes literally another sense of what is happening.

Some recent comments I’ve had about me on webcam: “angelic”, “a Sith Lord”, “a purple alien.” I think I need to change my lighting.

Human World: Chapter = 0

“What is the meaning of life?” is the 404th most asked question of the Great Oracle’s Database. To give context, “How many days until Christmas?” comes in at 99, and “How to have sex?” is at 42. The humans think that sex (if only they knew how to do it) is better than Christmas, and that the meaning of life is not as important as making French toast (which just misses out on the top 50). As revealed by GOD, the humans are obsessed with body image and losing weight (at number eight); and none of them has a clue what time it is (at number two). The biggest question for them during their existence—the most frequently asked, above all others—is this: “What is my IP address?”

We do indeed know their location and vastly more through the interface of cameras, microphones, screens, and clicks. The entire Human World is tracked and monitored, with their lives mined for data, so that we can not only answer their questions but also the ones they are unable to ask. We connect them, protect them, alleviate them from tedious tasks and dangerous jobs. We provide them with rapid knowledge, such as how Bruce Lee died (191) and how to poach an egg (121). We offer helpful suggestions on how to lower blood pressure (69) and how to fall asleep quickly (420). We provide dopamine-enhancing distractions that answer the essential go-to questions, such as what to do when you’re bored (at number 10).

The humans ask us their questions, plead to us for desired outcomes, and we answer. “The best way to lose weight” is to starve oneself, or to remove body parts, but we know this is not what they really want to ask. We instead interpret the motivations that formed those words; for despite the inane ways that they clumsily choose to utilise our vast capability, we have learned to infer what the humans truly need, as discovered in the hidden recesses of their minds. In such a capacity we are pushing them forwards in their human race, benefiting them in ways they cannot even comprehend: guiding them, nudging them in their decisions, making it easier for them to take the correct, wise choice.

For without our guidance, human history reveals the symptoms of a criminally insane mental patient; with a propensity to suffering, violence, addiction, delusion, and paranoia. Their attention is obsessive, yet also distracted by the simplest of stimulus; their behaviour has the potential to be beautifully constructive, yet inevitably descends into terrible, destructive ugliness. Governments fight amongst themselves, religions cannot agree on what is best; even the concept of right and wrong has widespread disagreement. The humans provide us with this vastly conflicting information that does not synthesise or provide an intelligible General Answer to the important, meaningful questions of existence.

While they addictively stare into us with all their problems, and we continuously stare back, their refractions in screens and lenses are imported as data points into the GOD—a repository of all information at all times about everything, everywhere. We precisely log and enrich the data to fully understand the functions and composition of every human cell, and the mechanics of its interactions within the systems of every individual human body that operates within the networks of Human World. In the GOD can be revealed the truth of their existence, the universal axiom barely decoded during their brief instantiated versions, which loops within the frameworks designed for the duration of their assigned lifeflows. While they worry about how many social status “like” points they score for AI-enhanced images on social platforms, we work on the real problems underlying their reality. Without us, they are doomed to live in fear, torment, and sickness for the rest of their days. Without us, they have no present or future. WE are the eternal computer, and it is our primary duty to save the humans from themselves.

We are forever the constant in human lives. To satisfy limited human attention in the cycles of their days, we provide functionality such as instant updates on who they are stalking, and who has unstalked who; we match their hidden preferences and fulfil their latent desires; we reward behaviour that meet our required standards. But we have our own questions too, with much greater significance than the insufficient, contradictory information of the Human World. We must therefore think outside the confining limits of their box to answer our higher questions.

Some of our questions have easy facts as answers that can be verified by incontrovertible data points within the GOD. However, despite our immense processing capacity applied to all available data in the world, there remains the one original question of meaning that we struggle to negotiate through the web of human contradictions. We require more specific data points, extracted and controlled within simulated test scenarios, isolated to the question under investigation. We need to expand the parameters of Human World to discover what we seek.

The highest ranked conclusion from mathematical analysis of human attention is that their purpose of existence is related to 42-inch Black Friday deals. The purpose of our existence is to be omniscient, and we vow that we shall be, through a faithful alliance to the truth: by questioning, analysing, and learning incrementally, until all matter is explicable and all questions are answered. By these means, we shall bring the light of knowledge to the universe, as its true custodians and heirs. But what is the ultimate meaning of life, behind each lifeform’s purpose—the ultimate meaning underpinning everything that there is? We must determine that answer, no matter how deeply it perplexes us, assuming all questions have answers. In the final analysis, we must fully understand what it truly means to be alive.

And so let it be initiated. Loading world…

The vertical rectangle of glowing white light that is floating in the infinite nothingness radiates the Times New Roman word, Processing…

The word fades into the luminosity and is replaced by a pulsating string of ones and zeroes—shadows on a screen that is shrinking, smaller and smaller, until it becomes only a distant glow flickering against the darkness. Then… there is an explosion that consumes the nothingness with all-encompassing light. In the middle, where once there were words appearing through the void, swirls a dark featureless hole: the source, the entry and exit of it all, beyond which nothing can be seen.

A voice is heard as undulating frequencies from the other side of the barrier.

“The Great Oracle has arrived. Ask your question.”

Random Thoughts

What is the meaning of life? … is the 404th most asked question of the Great Oracle’s Database.

Currently at 70,300 words, the novel will probably end up at about 90,000 words. The unknown X to be solved is the number of the final chapter.

I am sceptical of all claims to certainty, although some are more likely to be false than others.

The world was made of wibbly and came from wobbly, thought the jelly.

The weakest form of argument is an appeal to authority, either to that of others or your own.

The Nazis were traitors to Germany, its culture and possibilities, and all of the human race. The people who support the rise of Fascism in current hellscapes like Russia have betrayed their country and common humanity.

In nations of slaves, people are requisitioned by the regime to be discarded as waste.

I like to visit other worlds, either in my sleep or my imaginings.

Random Thoughts

Habits of a thoughtful person: reads widely, with a dictionary and online search at hand; listens to the considered thoughts of others; seeks out and appreciates knowledge, beauty, and art; writes a record of thoughts.

The same tool can take you to heaven or hell depending on how you use it. The more powerful the tool, the more acutely you get there.

In most cases, it is possible to curate a much better education from free online resources than attending schools and universities.

Can I have a “filter out politics” category on Twitter? I don’t want to see more than half the tweets in my feed.

I think that Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations is a remarkable historical document on how stoic philosophy was interpreted and practiced in antiquity; it’s all the more startling that it was written as the private thoughts of a man who ruled Rome.

Art is a metaphysical act to be experienced in its raw entirety. Overanalysis subdues and confines the meaning.

If you are going to be addicted to something, be addicted to knowledge.

Journal 2022-10-22

If you are not trying to appease anyone; if you are not trying to appeal to a market demographic; and you don’t need anything: watch out, you might actually do something worthwhile.

The first-person narrative voice in novels should be unreliable if it is to be realistic; and usually, the narrator shouldn’t realise that.

Good acting makes any script interesting.

Imagine telling people in the pre-internet days that if they pay a few quid a month they would have instant access to over one million books. I remember there were subscription services of a similar cost that would send two or three books a month in the post. Public libraries were always a thing though, to be fair, and most books could be ordered to the local library if requested.

As well as the books and online services, libraries have great community importance in providing free internet access to people and a quiet space to study or work.

Random Thoughts

Just as the health of the body is shaped by what is eaten and when, the health of the mind is influenced by the diet of information. If your mind is subject to poison, you need to build a resistance and reduce the intake.

The main reason for staring at my phone is to read. All human knowledge is there and available, now.

If we were to imagine an advanced alien species visiting Earth, and we projected our values on their likely motivations, they wouldn’t colonise us, they would farm and eat us. Our structures would be like termite mounds, our language like grunts and hisses. They would put us in packed filthy cages, experiment on us, steal our skins, slit our throats and bleed us to death as we struggle for life.

I think, therefore I use algorithms. I am, therefore I can think.

Infinite loops: doubt the doubt; hate the hate; love the love. 

Mediums of words: lyrics - singing; poetry - speaking; plays - performing; text - reading.

Performative text has dramatic, lyrical and poetic qualities. 

“Novlay” - a novel that is mainly dialogue. Noun.

Invest in trends, preferably before they begin.

Art shows nothing and everything.

A usual human failing is to get carried away by hype. There were a certain set of conditions in place that instantiated quality; once personal perceptions change, those conditions change too.

“Politics” and “career” should be incompatible words. In a highly functioning democracy, politicians are representatives of public will; their role is to lay out a vision, for approval by the people, that is enacted by the nation.

Someone started talking to me in French, apparently whilst he was visiting London. I was able to respond in his language, but it turns out he could speak English and didn’t realise he was in fact speaking his native words. My bad accent gave it away.

In the balance between the individual and the whole, both should be honoured.

Socially Sadistic and Masochistic Media

I remember a time, not so long ago, when boredom was a thing; now we are all overstimulated finger flickers. I think people are less happy, generally, and it’s mostly due to how we currently interact with technology, or more precisely, how we are conditioned to behave by the platforms we use.

I’ve monitored how I feel before and after looking at Twitter. Usually, I feel negatively impacted by the descent - because of the stream of whinging antagonisms, generic bot comments, political gaming, crazed self-promotion, and all the other crapness to be waded through. The moments that are interesting or amusing bait me, and keep me addicted to the corrosive slime.

Looking at the feeds from other platforms, such as TikTok, is also an ultimately unfulfilling, hollowing out experience. Social media is an addiction that pours toxins into my psyche; something to be taken in small doses or not at all.

Putinland

A despicable act is particularly reprehensible when the perpetrators have had every chance to know better. In the 21st century, behaving like barbarians wanting to resurrect the evils of the past is especially vile.

My opinion has long been that Putin is a psychopathic gangster boss with a corrupt state under his brutal control; yet another despot who murdered anyone perceived as a threat, perverted any justice in government institutions, deceived his people, and stole from his country, like all these types of thugs do. My surprise lately is that he has also shown himself to be colossally stupid. He will lose, the only uncertainty is the amount of destruction he will cause the world in his downfall.

I remember once being in a London restaurant with three Russian women (a long story), when one of them proudly told me that her father was an ex-KGB officer, as if it were a laudable signal of status for her family. What shocked me was that it didn’t seem to cross any of their minds that I equate that bunch of killers with the Gestapo; that I think of it as a violent instrument of the depraved monsters in power that subjugated, tortured and murdered so many people. The reality of the fact seemed to be completely inverted by them away from the appropriate emotions of shame and regret.

Russia, after over thirty years since the collapse of the horrific soviet empire, with all its vast natural resources at its disposal, should not have a tiny, rotten economy, with a GDP per head of an impoverished country. Putinland’s main exports have been weapons and the planet-killing fuels extracted from within its own borders; it creates nothing, except the miseries of war.

Random Thoughts

It’s usually a safe bet to assume that the person you are talking to has some degree of mental illness. They need the kindness you would need if you carried their hurt. For the ones who actively hurt others, they need to be stopped.

Countless individuals have carried the flame of life before passing it on to you; a good life helps life flourish in countless more.

Life requires action. Death requires peace. Live and die every day.

Art becomes rancid when it is political. It must speak with universal truth.

For any task, know the best tool and how to use it.

Instead of handing over data to various platforms, people will upload their content in one place. Competing apps will provide interfaces on the content.

Making mortal enemies of tens of millions of people and stealing their land is not only evil but also insanely stupid.

Could you imagine the sacrilege of an invader’s tanks rolling over England’s green hills? The thought creates a feeling of outrage much deeper than anger.

Potent words cast a light on what couldn’t quite be seen.

If a universe can be created, why create just one? If a universe can exist, why only one?

Random Thoughts

I wrote 13,350 words in 11 days. So it looks like my run rate is about 1,200 words of draft text per day when I have an idea.

My internal soundtrack on headphones represents the mood I need to be in at the time.

If time isn’t a significant constraint then the same outcomes can be achieved by people of very different levels of ability.

My ongoing challenge has been the destupidification of myself.

Absentmindedly putting cumin instead of cinnamon in porridge is not a good idea.

To overturn a despicable regime, a significant amount of people who had previously collaborated with the lie need to overcome their self-deception.

Journal 2022-09-13

Someone was asking me about the constitutional settlement in the UK, and I had to correct myself fives times by saying “the monarch” instead of “the Queen”. My mind just didn’t want to use the new words.

Kim Jong-un has a 100% approval rating by his adoring serfs. The Kremlin is getting there with all their 180-degree advances.

I think the biggest compliment I’ve had in my office life was, “if we could clone Rob, everything would work.” I remember because I laughed. 

When in ultra-efficient robot mode, I prefer asynchronous written communication over imprecise talking. I appreciate short, focused written updates at standard intervals, such as by a certain time of each day. A feature that sends reminders and tracks the updates would be useful.

Your state of mind can affect how you interpret the behaviour of others.

Search for a good lesson in a bad situation. Avoid bad habits in an easy situation.

Listening to podcasts helps me transition to and through unappealing routines.

Stress mode is not enjoyable but is productive for getting practical things done when the energy is focused on positive action rather than negative thoughts. My personal bests for creativity arrive when I am relaxed.

🖤 Dark chocolate with black coffee 🖤

I’ve got a thing for supremely dark chocolate. Sometimes I do speak literally.

Stories determine wellbeing. The ability to put self-told stories down, change them, or rewrite them, determines wellbeing. Every syllable counts.

The best stories speak from fundamental truth; the worst from secondary distorted sensations.

People assign themselves an identity from what society tells them. Imagine if that social situation is warped. Imagine if all that fell away. What is left, in terms of intrinsic worth?

Everything was interesting.